I was granted full custody of my son last month. His dad is currently homeless and staying in a shelter. We were never married, and our son is 2 years old. I want to add my last name to his for school and future family reasons.
Ideally, I’d remove his dad’s last name completely (it’s only 3 letters), but I’ve heard he’d have to agree to that, which he probably won’t. So I’m hoping I can at least hyphenate it with mine.
How do I go about this? Do I need to file something in court? Would he have to be served? That’s tricky because he won’t give me an address, and he refuses to come around. My brother served him before, but it’s tough since he dodges everything. He hasn’t been here since December, doesn’t visit, and is behind on child support.
Would love some advice on how to handle this. Thanks!
In NY, you can easily change a birth certificate in the first year, but after that, you have to go through the courts. A family lawyer can help, and since your ex probably can’t afford to fight it, it may not be too expensive.
You also have to publish the name change in a local newspaper for a certain amount of time.
@Smart
Thanks! My son is 2. Do I really need a lawyer, or can I just handle it myself? I represented myself for custody and child support, and that went fine.
His dad won’t bother fighting me. He’s cheap, lazy, and avoids court. He’s already dealing with custody issues for his other kid and doesn’t want the hassle. He literally told the judge, ‘Just give her what she wants.’
Why does this have to be in a newspaper? Isn’t that outdated? What happened to privacy? What’s the purpose of that?
As for the newspaper thing, the law requires a public notice of the name change. The court will tell you where to publish it, and you have 60 days to do so. After that, you need to file proof that it was published. It’s an old legal requirement, and yeah, barely anyone actually reads those notices.
Aspen said: @Smart
Thanks! I wonder if I can skip that part for privacy reasons. I’ll look into it. Appreciate the info!
It doesn’t have to be a major newspaper. We used a small, cheap local one where nobody actually reads the notices. It’s just to meet the legal requirement.
I called my county clerk’s office to ask about this. In my county, I had to go through a lawyer and appear before a judge because my kids were underage. The father also had to be served. Not sure what happens if he doesn’t show up.
@Jocelyn
Wow. So the father has to agree to the change? I guess if my son is older and wants to change it himself, he can. My dad keeps telling me I should change it now, but I’m not sure if I really need to.
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