I signed an MSA with my ex where I waived spousal support. Recently found out she cheated on me with my best friend. The agreement says it can’t be changed later unless she agrees to it, which seems unlikely now. We’re in California. Is there anything I can do?
Once you’ve signed the MSA, it’s usually locked in unless both parties agree to a change. California is strict about this stuff.
Adler said:
Once you’ve signed the MSA, it’s usually locked in unless both parties agree to a change. California is strict about this stuff.
Yeah, that’s what I read too. But it feels so unfair since I didn’t know about the cheating when I signed.
Adler said:
Once you’ve signed the MSA, it’s usually locked in unless both parties agree to a change. California is strict about this stuff.
You could try talking to her. If you offer to give something up, maybe she’ll agree to negotiate.
How long were you married? That might play into how spousal support is calculated if she agrees.
Vanessa said:
How long were you married? That might play into how spousal support is calculated if she agrees.
13 years. I’m barely getting by now. Our joint income was $140k, but now I’m down to $55k alone.
Vanessa said:
How long were you married? That might play into how spousal support is calculated if she agrees.
With 13 years, there’s no set end date for spousal support in California, as long as it’s agreed upon. It’ll depend on what she’s willing to negotiate.
What did you get out of the MSA? Did it balance out in other ways?
Thyme said:
What did you get out of the MSA? Did it balance out in other ways?
I kept $84k in retirement. She has $50k plus a $96k pension but agreed to give me $50k by 2053. She also took on a bit more debt, and we’re splitting the house proceeds.
Thyme said:
What did you get out of the MSA? Did it balance out in other ways?
Sounds like you might’ve done okay overall. Maybe trying to renegotiate isn’t worth the hassle?
What if she tries to use the fact that she’s covering all the kids’ costs against you in court?
Barrett said:
What if she tries to use the fact that she’s covering all the kids’ costs against you in court?
She pays for healthcare, childcare, education, and activities, but we have 50/50 custody. Could that backfire on me?
Barrett said:
What if she tries to use the fact that she’s covering all the kids’ costs against you in court?
Nope, that’s considered formal support for the kids. It won’t make you look bad in court.
What about her living with the guy she cheated with? Could that count as a domestic partnership?
Corbin said:
What about her living with the guy she cheated with? Could that count as a domestic partnership?
Our MSA says no new partnerships until the divorce is final in December. Does living together count?
Corbin said:
What about her living with the guy she cheated with? Could that count as a domestic partnership?
Nah, that’s more likely seen as dating, not a domestic partnership.
Could you prove she coerced you into signing the MSA? That might help in court.
Sienna said:
Could you prove she coerced you into signing the MSA? That might help in court.
She used to threaten to take the kids if I didn’t sign. Does that count as coercion?
Sienna said:
Could you prove she coerced you into signing the MSA? That might help in court.
Unfortunately, that’s seen more as negotiation tactics, not coercion, especially if you signed willingly.
Be careful about threatening her with those pictures and videos. That could land you in trouble.