My children’s father has been absent for 9 years. I even dropped the child support order because he doesn’t want to be around. I haven’t gone back to court for full custody because I’m scared he’ll show up when he gets the papers. He’s a drug user and hasn’t seen the kids in ages. He used to visit when it suited him, but now he only leaves rude voicemails at the schools. Can I actually be granted full custody even if he tries to show up in court?
What the hell? Girl, you better go get that child support started again. It’s been 9 years. Get a recording of the voicemail next time, and you’ll have a guaranteed win.
Yes.
How old are your kids? They can tell the judge they don’t want a relationship with their father at a certain age.
He’s abandoned the kids. Just file for full custody.
In some places, after a couple of years of no contact, it’s considered abandonment. If you have records of trying to contact him, you could get full custody.
Talk to a local attorney. If he’s been absent for 9 years and has drug issues, that could really sway the judge, even if he shows up.
No judge would realistically give an absent father anything more than supervised visitation after 9 years. Plus, he probably has to pay back child support first.
Check how long it takes for it to be considered abandonment. I think it’s 2 years in some states.
If he hasn’t seen the kids in 9 years, you should talk about terminating his parental rights due to abandonment. California might have different rules.
Did you actually tell the court to stop collecting child support? If not, it’s piling up, which could keep him from coming around.
If there’s a court order for child support, he’s in arrears even if you stopped collection. That could work in your favor if he tries anything.
Why poke the bear? Any filing will just bring him into your life more.
You could petition for a name change without changing custody.
I didn’t even know that was an option. I thought I needed full custody for that. Thanks for the heads up!