Hey everyone, I need some advice. My ex and I were never married, and we have a 5-year-old daughter. We split up when she was 2. In the beginning, he had some visitation, but it became less and less. By the time she was 3, I stopped overnight visits because she came home pretending to roll a joint and showing other kids. Her dad and his girlfriend smoke weed all the time—his girlfriend is even a weed influencer. There are videos of them smoking outside, drinking and driving, and even smoking while driving.
He’s supposed to pay child support, but the judge keeps reducing it because they count his bills and expenses. Meanwhile, I pay for everything for our daughter, including medical costs. He hasn’t seen her in over a year, and the only time he asks about her is when his dad pushes him to. His dad even calls me about it.
I want to terminate his rights because I can’t get my daughter a passport without his permission, and I want to be able to travel with her. I’ve tried everything—offering to cover all the costs, arranging for him to sign in front of a notary—but he ignores me completely. I message him for months with no reply. This isn’t just about the passport, though. He refuses to communicate about anything. Our daughter is with me 100% of the time, and I don’t think it’s fair that her childhood should be limited just because he won’t sign a piece of paper. Do I have a case to terminate his rights? Any advice?
You can’t terminate his rights unless he agrees. About the passport, talk to a lawyer. You might need sole legal custody to get around needing his signature.
No, termination isn’t an option unless there’s a stepparent adoption, and he’d have to agree. What does your custody order say? Does it actually stop you from getting a passport or traveling? If you don’t have a legal custody agreement, getting one could help with these issues instead of trying to terminate his rights.
@Ellington
What I meant was, a parent can’t refuse just to be difficult. If a judge orders it, the passport will get approved. That’s how it worked for me.
Emma said: @Ellington
What I meant was, a parent can’t refuse just to be difficult. If a judge orders it, the passport will get approved. That’s how it worked for me.
But that’s exactly what they can do—refuse to sign. If one parent thinks the other might take the child out of the country permanently, they can refuse, and the law backs them up.
No court will take away a parent’s rights just because they won’t sign for a passport. Courts only do that in cases of severe abuse or neglect, and usually only if someone else is ready to adopt the child. Lack of involvement or support isn’t enough. His girlfriend’s actions don’t matter unless she’s doing it around your child.
Courts don’t like making a child legally fatherless unless there’s someone else to step in as a parent. If he’s uninvolved, he’s uninvolved, but that doesn’t mean the court will terminate his rights.
I’m going through this right now in KY. The state requires a specific process, and one key thing is that I have a step-parent ready to adopt. Without that, termination wouldn’t even be an option. You should check your state’s laws and talk to an adoption lawyer.
From what you said, a court won’t terminate his rights because he hasn’t done anything extreme enough to be considered unfit. He still pays child support, which matters.
What you can do is take him to court to get the judge to sign off on a passport and change who makes legal decisions. Also, unless your court order says you need his permission to travel within the U.S., you can take your child on vacations inside the country without his okay.
Since he’s paying child support, the court sees that as maintaining some involvement. Termination is usually only granted if a stepparent is ready to adopt. You haven’t mentioned that, so this isn’t likely.
You can get a court order for a passport. You don’t need his permission to travel inside the U.S.