Hey everyone, I’m in a tough spot here and could really use some advice. I’m in the military and currently legally separated from my ex-wife. I have three kids, and I’m wondering if I can still have primary or full custody of my daughter, even though another man has been acknowledged as her father. On top of this, I’m concerned about alimony or my retirement benefits since my ex has committed various forms of marital misconduct for years. Just to give you some background, I had to kick her out for repeatedly doing drugs, lying about her whereabouts, and some really concerning behavior like pushing me down the stairs. I even had to file a domestic violence protection order against her recently. I’ve been raising our kids almost entirely by myself for the last eight years while she struggled with addiction and disappeared for long stretches of time. Now that I might be getting orders to move to California or Okinawa, she’s suddenly claiming she wants custody of my daughter to use against me. I need to know what my options are because I can’t let this happen. Any advice or experience in this situation would be super helpful. Thanks for listening.
You really should consult with a family law attorney. They can help you understand your rights and what’s possible. The situation sounds complicated with the acknowledgment of another father, and dealing with custody issues is tough.
@Sparrow
Yeah, I definitely plan to speak with a lawyer soon. I just feel so stressed about everything and want to know what I’m up against.
It sounds like you have been the stable force in your kids’ lives. The courts generally favor the parent who has been consistently present. But since the bio dad is involved, you might face some hurdles with custody. Have you documented everything her behavior?
@Josephine
Yeah, I’ve kept records of her behavior and all the times I had to step in with the kids. I’ve got a lot of documentation from the issues she’s caused.
With your military status, it can complicate things since courts might be hesitant to give full custody, especially if they think you could be deployed. Just focus on showing that you can provide a stable home for your kids.
@Victoria
That’s definitely a concern. I’ve been trying to stay as stable and present as possible for the kids, and it’s just frustrating seeing her try to use the situation to her advantage.
It sounds like she’s not really been there for the kids anyway. Courts usually consider who has been the primary caregiver, and that should work in your favor. Just keep pushing for what’s best for them.
@SteveAffie
Absolutely, they mean everything to me, and I would never let her have them if it’s not safe. I just want to make sure I’m doing everything right.
If she’s been involved in marital misconduct, that may also affect her case for alimony. You really need to gather that info too. A good lawyer will know how to navigate these tricky waters.
Rory said:
If she’s been involved in marital misconduct, that may also affect her case for alimony. You really need to gather that info too. A good lawyer will know how to navigate these tricky waters.
Thanks for the advice. I didn’t even think about how that might impact the alimony issue. It’s just been such a chaotic situation overall.