Can I use texts from my ex's old phone in court?

Family Law Support Forum
1

My soon-to-be ex-wife filed a restraining order against me, claiming emotional abuse. When she left, she got a brand-new phone with a different provider, and I even helped her set it up. She left her old phone with me since it’s on my phone plan and I pay for it.

That phone has text messages that completely contradict what she’s saying and would prove she’s lying. I didn’t hack anything—I’ve always known the passcode, and she willingly left the phone behind.

Can I use these texts in court to prove my innocence?

2

She has to prove her claims, not the other way around.

I’m not saying don’t fight this—people assume men are guilty right away—but emotional abuse is tough to prove, especially if it never happened.

You need a lawyer. If no kids are involved, this might not have a huge impact, but don’t take any chances.

3

Make sure that phone can’t be remotely wiped.

If her email or Apple ID is still on it, she can delete everything. Put it in airplane mode, turn off WiFi, and call your provider to suspend service for that number.

If these messages are important, get a lawyer ASAP. They’ll know the right way to handle this.

4

Did anyone at the phone store see her give you the old phone? If a store employee witnessed it, they might be willing to back you up.

5

Yes, you can use them.

She gave you the phone willingly, knowing what was on it. If you can show that she left it with you voluntarily, the judge will likely allow the messages as evidence.

6

Has your lawyer suggested any other way to get those messages into evidence?

Maybe the person she was texting could provide them? Or you could try getting them from the phone company.

Just make sure you follow all court orders.

7

Are you working with a lawyer? If not, why not?

If this divorce isn’t going to be civil, you’ll need one. Hand over the phone, give them the passcode, and let them deal with it.

8

EdwardGenesis said:
Are you working with a lawyer? If not, why not?

If this divorce isn’t going to be civil, you’ll need one. Hand over the phone, give them the passcode, and let them deal with it.

I do have a lawyer, but he seems unsure about whether I can use this evidence or not. Just trying to get more opinions. And no, this divorce won’t be civil.

9

@Payton
If your lawyer isn’t giving you a clear answer or at least looking into it, you might need a better one.

10

@Payton
So your lawyer doesn’t know the answer and isn’t trying to find out? That’s a bad sign. You might want to look for someone better.

11

@Payton
Some lawyers just aren’t good at handling evidence like this.

There’s a chance the court might not allow the messages if she argues that they were private and you didn’t have permission to read them, even if she left the phone with you.

A good attorney should be able to work around this, though.

12

@Payton
Could be one of three things:

  1. Whether the texts are allowed depends on the judge’s decision, so your lawyer just can’t say for sure.
  2. Your lawyer doesn’t know and isn’t bothering to find out (bad sign).
  3. Your lawyer hasn’t looked into it yet and just needs more time (pretty normal).
13

People use text messages as evidence all the time.

14

Azar said:
People use text messages as evidence all the time.

Yeah, but is it legal to use texts from her old phone that she left with me?

15

Payton said:

Azar said:
People use text messages as evidence all the time.

Yeah, but is it legal to use texts from her old phone that she left with me?

What would make it illegal?

16

@Azar
She could argue that I never had permission to read them. But I’ve always known her passcode, and she left the phone behind after getting a new one. Plus, I’m the one paying for it.

17

Payton said:
@Azar
She could argue that I never had permission to read them. But I’ve always known her passcode, and she left the phone behind after getting a new one. Plus, I’m the one paying for it.

As a lawyer, here’s how I see it:

If she gave you the passcode, then she allowed you access to the phone. If the messages are hers, they could be used in court as her own statements.

Definitely bring this up with your attorney to make sure it’s handled the right way.

18

@Lily
Just curious—if she actually could prove emotional abuse, what impact would that have?

Would it affect things like division of property or spousal support? Or is it only a factor in custody cases?