My son is 7 years old, and his father and I have been split for just as long. We both have our own partners (5+ years) and I’ve had two more children since then. My husband is a Jehovah Witness, and recently we’ve gotten our schedule figured out to go to meetings on Tuesday nights. I have my son Monday-Thursday, so I thought it wouldn’t be an issue to take him without discussing it with my ex. I never call him unless it’s important and I trust that our son is taken care of while in his care.
My son attended 3 meetings with us; he played on my iPad the entire time and then played with the other kids once it was over until we went home. After this, he pointed out the Kingdom Hall when they drove past it, and that’s how my ex found out. He called me, said he was extremely uncomfortable with the idea of our son going to meetings with us, and thought he was ‘too young.’ I explained to him that our son isn’t participating, but he’s a part of my family and it’s something we do as a family and I didn’t want to exclude him. The conversation went nowhere, and I ended up agreeing that we wouldn’t take him.
The arrangement now is either I don’t go and stay home with my son and my youngest, or I have to drop him off to my ex’s girlfriend on the way to the meeting so she can watch him until we’re done.
When I told my son, he was extremely upset, verbatim said his dad was wasting his time and only wouldn’t let him go so he could steal my time with him. I tried to explain his dad’s reasoning, but my son explained to me that he’s been to church with his aunt before and he already believes in God. I calmed him down and encouraged him to talk to his father about it, and when we called him, he completely shut our son down. He interrogated him over why he ‘suddenly wanted to go’ and said he’d rather have him at his house and that our son didn’t understand.
This whole thing has really made me realize that he hasn’t asked my son how he feels and is using this as another way to veto me just because he can.
I’m not sure what to do about this other than to ask him again at a later date or tell him to take me to court. We both filed parenting plans years ago but never made it to court, so I’m not entirely sure where I stand in all this. I don’t think he has the right to dictate what I do with my time with our son. I don’t want to rock the boat or go to court since we’ve been co-parenting well up until this point, but I don’t like feeling like I’m being controlled by my ex and that it is potentially harming my son.