Hey everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this.
I’m hoping to get some advice or hear from anyone who’s been through something similar.
Seven months ago, my sister was awarded full legal and physical custody of her two sons. The father’s visitation was left open to mutual agreement, but he never showed up to court, so the order was pretty straightforward. He was properly served and just chose not to be there.
Now, my sister has filed for child support because he barely contributes—he’s given about $600 total in the last year and a half. As soon as he got the paperwork, he suddenly decided to take her back to court, trying to get 50/50 custody. He claims he only sees the kids every few weeks and isn’t allowed to make decisions about their schooling or medical care. But we have proof from co-parenting messages showing that he’s the one who cancels visits or chooses not to be around. There are also times when he admitted to being too drunk or busy with a date to see them.
Quick background on this guy… He’s never been able to hold a job for more than four months, and he was living in a halfway house for veterans with mental health issues. We think he got kicked out for drinking or drug use. Now he says he’s living in an Airbnb. Before that, he failed out of a sober living program, got sent back to Arizona to live with his parents, then got kicked out of there too. He’s bounced around garages and couches for the past year and only came back to this area last April.
His behavior is all over the place. He sends nasty, harassing messages at random hours, then deletes them. Because of this, my sister only communicates with him through a court-approved co-parenting app where messages can’t be erased. He’s also been sued by previous employers for stealing money, been removed from job sites for being mentally unfit, and gets into bar fights regularly.
When he does see the kids, he doesn’t ask about their lives. Instead, he grills them about their mom—where she was, who she was with, etc. He even asked her to bring him a beer to a visit at a public park (she ignored that and just got snacks for the kids). Since getting hit with child support, he’s been sending threatening messages like, “You have no idea what kind of mess you just started.”
My sister handles everything for the kids—medical, school, everything. She refused to give him their Social Security numbers because she suspected he’d try to claim them on his taxes. Despite everything, she doesn’t block his visits unless it’s documented that he’s unfit due to harassment or substance use (which has happened four times).
So, my main question: Does he actually have a chance at getting custody changed? Or is this just an empty threat because of child support? Since he defaulted on the original case, would the court even take him seriously now?
They have mediation scheduled for late March in LA County. If that fails, the judge will be E. Duarte. She has a lawyer representing her.
Thanks again for reading and for any advice you can share!