Can my wife keep me from seeing my kids and change the locks... is that allowed?

I’m going through a divorce after 10 years of marriage, and I’m recovering from a drug problem (but I’m clean now). My wife is not letting me see my two kids, and she won’t let me pick up my stuff from the house. She also wants me to keep paying the rent, and she monitors all my texts, so I have no privacy to deal with this. Both our names are on the lease, but she changed all the locks. Can she keep me from my kids and the house without a court order?

Oof, that sounds really tough. I don’t think she can just keep you from the kids without a court order unless there’s a safety concern… have you tried talking to a lawyer?

Tyler said:
Oof, that sounds really tough. I don’t think she can just keep you from the kids without a court order unless there’s a safety concern… have you tried talking to a lawyer?

Yeah, I agree. You might need a court order to settle things like custody and access to your stuff. Definitely get legal help!

I think if she’s changing the locks and not letting you in, that’s something a court could help with. But sounds like you’ll need to file something to get official rights.

Niko said:
I think if she’s changing the locks and not letting you in, that’s something a court could help with. But sounds like you’ll need to file something to get official rights.

I’m no expert, but I’ve heard that you can have the locks drilled and get your own key. Not sure though… anyone else know about that?

Niko said:
I think if she’s changing the locks and not letting you in, that’s something a court could help with. But sounds like you’ll need to file something to get official rights.

Yeah, that’s right. As long as it’s your place too, you can do that until a court decides otherwise. But I’d definitely get a lawyer involved to be safe.

Sorry you’re dealing with this. I’ve been through a messy divorce myself, and getting legal help really helped me keep things fair. Hope you get this sorted soon.

Sounds like you need a lawyer to handle all this, honestly. The whole self-representation thing doesn’t usually work out well… just my two cents.

I’m with you… trying to handle this stuff on your own sounds so stressful. Have you checked if there’s any way to speed up the process to get access to your kids?

Penny said:
I’m with you… trying to handle this stuff on your own sounds so stressful. Have you checked if there’s any way to speed up the process to get access to your kids?

I haven’t yet, but it’s getting pretty overwhelming. I’ll probably need a lawyer after all.