Hello everyone and thank you for your time in reading this. I wanted to get some insight from people who have gone through this or advice on what to do or how to handle. 7 months back my sibling was awarded full sole physical and legal custody of her two sons. Their father’s visitation states it’s only agreed upon mutual agreement. The court order is simple since the father defaulted by not showing up. It’s documented that he was properly served with the original court appearance date. Recently my sibling decided to seek child support from him since he rarely provides for his two children, we’re talking about $600 given in the last 1.5 years. When she served him paperwork for child support he went off and decided to take her back to court for a shot at 50/50 custody. He’s stating that he only sees his two sons every 2-3 weeks and that he’s not allowed to make decisions on their education or medical care. His visitation claims are invalid since we have him on co-parenting messages with the time he would physically see his sons and with FaceTime. As well with the times where he couldn’t see his sons because of a date he had or him being presumably too drunk to see them. Quick run down on this guy… he can’t hold a job for more than 4 months and he was living in a halfway home for Veterans who are mentally ill 35 miles away in a different county. We’re assuming he got kicked out due to use of drugs or alcohol and now he’s claiming that he lives in an Airbnb. Prior to that he was also admitted into a sober living home, but failed the program after a few months. That was a little over a year ago and after he failed that program he had to get a ticket back home to Arizona to be with his parents, but was quickly kicked out for unknown reasons. He was garage bouncing for a few months before he made his way back down here in last April 2024. He stated that in a year’s span he’s only seen his sons for 24 hours, but he’s not including the time where he went AWOL as a parent. He’s verbally abusive against her and the whole family. He’s the type of person that will text you random things at 1 am, texting erratically and barely making any sense and later he will unsend hurtful, harassing messages. Due to his nature, my sibling only has contact with him via a County approved co-parenting app, this way he cannot unsend any messages and she has a record of his harassment. He’s being sued by previous employers for taking money and he’s also been escorted off work premises for being mentally unfit for his job. Also, he’s always getting into trouble, like bar fights. When my sibling does meet up with him for visitation she allows him to have the kids unsupervised since that’s his one-on-one time with his children, but he hates that because the children tend to ask for their mother after 30-60 minutes and he wants her to be around to verbally abuse her. When the children come back to her they’re asking her all of these inappropriate questions about her personal life and where and who she was with when she dropped them off. When the father has communication with his sons it’s never about them or how they’re doing at school or sports. It’s mainly about my sister and her personal life like if she is his property. My sibling takes care of their medical and education needs since she has the sole physical and legal custody of her two sons. The question is, would he have a shot at getting any type of custody or would it be difficult since he initially knowingly defaulted and only is seeking a change in custody after being served with Child Support? They have a mediation date in late March in LA County and the presiding judge will be E. Duarte. She also has retained a lawyer. Thanks again for your time in reading this and your responses.
Not a lawyer, but based only on the information you have written, I would find it incredibly difficult for your sibling’s Ex to gain any substantial custodial rights; he does NOT have a clear permanent residence, he does NOT have substantive employment, and he HAS exhibited abusive behaviors. For the protection of the children, your sister needs to be solely focused on the goal that her Ex needs to prove his improvements to the court.
Wishing her good luck. Tell her to document everything if she hasn’t been doing so. Literally everything. Every phone call, text, visit, etc. If she doesn’t have an attorney, she should consider getting one.
@Greer
I agree with you 100%. For clarification, she’s not and has not been withholding visitation from him. She would rather go back to court to set a scheduled visitation arrangement.
A child has a right to have both parents involved. If he wants to show up now, he can. Her fighting it won’t look good to the courts. You can place conditions on it but outright saying you don’t want him to see the kids is a bad look.
@Lorin
I never said she’s withholding. I said going into court wanting him eliminated from seeing his children won’t look good.
How does this answer the post in any meaningful way?
The main question is whether he is able to get increased custody due to being served with Child Support.
He can petition for parental rights anytime he wants. It’s very common for deadbeat parents to seek custody the moment they are hit with child support.
Document everything, including the open close times of the urgent cares and her pediatrician. He is trying to set you up to sway custody. I would document everything and consult a family lawyer just in case.
If he doesn’t bring her to school, then you can wait until your court date to tell the judge.