Child not wanting to go with Father (Indiana)

Co-parenting issues Forum
1

Hi everyone,

I find myself in a very difficult spot. I was raised in a fundamentalist cult, and unfortunately, when I divorced my ex-husband, I did not get solid documentation of his abusive behavior. He is extremely emotionally and mentally abusive, which is now causing my 9-year-old to have panic attacks and severe anxiety. He has been sadistic, causing the children immense emotional distress.

I have some documentation of my child’s panic attacks being related to his dad, and he is currently in therapy. However, it’s reached a point where it’s affecting his school attendance and health significantly. He had to go to Urgent Care two weeks in a row the night before a scheduled exchange.

I also have two smaller children who are autistic and nonverbal, so they cannot express their feelings about their dad, but they don’t seem to enjoy their visits and have issues at school on the days they spend with him.

We have a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) assigned, but they are very slow to respond and don’t seem to take my concerns seriously.

I am at a loss for what to do here. Has anyone dealt with this type of severe mental abuse affecting their child? Can I file for an emergency custody hearing to keep him home? He does not want to go to his dad’s house.

2

If you can afford it, get a good family law attorney. Preferably one that has regular dinners with the judge. Unfortunately, these cases are tough. Emotional and mental abuse is difficult to prove. Good luck.

3

Can your 9-year-old express to you what happens at their dad’s? Sorry you’re going through this.

4

Your child needs to express this to a therapist, not just to you. If you’re the only point of contact, dad might claim manipulation. Involve a professional as soon as possible.

5

Is there an existing order? What does it say? You should have your lawyer file an emergency motion and push the GAL to investigate why your child doesn’t want to go.

6

Mental abuse is hard to document and prove. You can try to change visitation/custody, but often judges don’t take these cases seriously unless there’s serious documented physical abuse. Keep documenting and help your kids cope.

7

What are their ages? I’m sorry you and your kids are going through this. Sending hugs.

8

Hi, they’re 9, 7, and 5. It is so difficult for us all. Thank you for the kind thoughts.