A few weeks ago, she showed up at our house and announced she’d be living with us. My mom and I thought she’d cleared this with her dad (I haven’t seen him since I turned 18), but she hadn’t told him until now.
I’m scared. She’s sixteen, and we can’t force her to go back or see him, especially since neither daughter wants to talk to him.
Her dad has partial custody. Legally, can she stay with us if he wants her back? Are we harboring a runaway, and am I culpable even though I’m not her parent?
The simplest approach is for your mom to meet with a family law attorney and go to court to change the custody agreement. In most places, the family court will consider the wishes of a sixteen-year-old.
If your dad is aggressive and your sister has text or voicemail evidence of threats, contact TheHotline.org. The Hotline is free and can connect her with local resources to help explore options like restraining orders
You are not necessarily hiding a runaway, but the scenario may be legally delicate. It is critical to contact with her father and maybe seek legal guidance to ensure that all actions are consistent with custody agreements and legal requirements.
In your situation, where your sixteen-year-old stepdaughter has chosen to live with you and her mother without her father’s prior knowledge or consent, legal considerations arise regarding custody arrangements and potential implications of harboring a runaway. As her father has partial custody, he retains legal rights regarding visitation and custody decisions unless modified by a court order. While you, as a step-parent, may not have primary legal responsibility, harboring a runaway minor could have legal consequences depending on local laws. It’s advisable to seek legal counsel promptly to understand your rights, potential liabilities, and the best course of action to address this situation while prioritizing the well-being and legal rights of your stepdaughter and maintaining communication with her father to resolve the matter amicably.
Here’s the legal situation regarding your niece living with you and your mom:
Partial Custody:
Since your niece’s father has partial custody, he has legal rights regarding her living situation.
No Legal Obligation to Return:
However, unless there’s a court order mandating her return, you and your mom are not legally obligated to force her back if she doesn’t want to go. This applies even though you’re not her parent.
Best Course of Action:
Contact Her Father:
Communicate with your niece’s father as soon as possible. Explain the situation and that she doesn’t want to return. Let him know you’re willing to facilitate communication but can’t force her.
Consider Mediation:
If communication with the father is difficult, suggest mediation. A neutral third party can help facilitate a conversation and find a solution that works for everyone involved.
Consult a Lawyer:
Consult with a family law attorney in your area. They can advise you on the specific legalities based on your location and the details of the custody agreement.
Not Harboring a Runaway:
Since your niece is 16, she’s not considered a runaway in most jurisdictions. Runaway laws typically apply to younger children.
Focus on Communication:
Open communication is key. Talk to your niece and understand why she doesn’t want to see her father. Let her know you support her but also encourage her to communicate with him, perhaps with your help or through a mediator.
Remember, your primary concern is your niece’s well-being. Open communication with all parties involved is crucial in finding a solution.
This is a tough situation, and I understand you’re scared. Here’s what I can share to help:
Your Sister’s Choice:
In most places, at 16, your sister might have more say in where she lives. Some states have laws allowing teens to petition the court for a change of residence.
Legal Custody:
Her dad having partial custody means he has some rights, but it doesn’t necessarily mean she has to go back if she doesn’t want to. However, it is a complex legal situation.
Not Harboring a Runaway:
Since your sister came to you directly, you’re unlikely to be considered harboring a runaway.
Next Steps:
Talk to Your Mom: Discuss your concerns and figure out a plan together.
Seek Legal Advice: A lawyer specializing in family law can clarify your state’s specific laws and your options. This might be best to protect everyone involved.
Encourage Communication: If possible, encourage open communication between your sister and her dad. It might be difficult, but it could help resolve the situation in the long run.
This is a decision that you can make for yourself. You don’t need a group of strangers on the internet to confirm something you already know to be correct. I say this not to chastise you, but to empower you as a caring mom who knows what’s best for her children to make decisions on your own. Not only was your ex abusive, but the judge also recognized that you are a capable mother who can make wise decisions for the children, which is why she granted you discretion over visitation.
Here, you have to have confidence in yourself. Though I’m happy that you can now recognize the abuse for what it was, having been a
My mom and I thought she’d cleared this with her dad (I haven’t seen him since I turned 18), but she hadn’t told him until now.
She’s sixteen, and we can’t force her to go back or see him, especially since neither daughter wants to talk to him.