Considering Custody Modification in Connecticut

Modification Forum
1

I’m in Connecticut and currently have a 50/50 custody order with no child support. However, my son (16) has been living with me full time for over two years, and my daughter (13) for over a year. Their father has not made any attempts to see the kids, aside from occasional texts to my daughter. He’s had little contact with me as well, and I’ve been trying to encourage the kids to reach out to him, but they won’t. There’s a history of him being rough and sometimes violent, but this was deemed a non-issue during our original custody proceedings. I have a recording of him stating he doesn’t want our son to live with him ever again.

I recently filed a contempt motion for half of his shared expenses, and he agreed to a payment plan. I’m considering whether to file for a custody modification. I’m worried that if he has to pay child support, he might suddenly want to enforce the current order. The kids likely refuse to go live with him, and I don’t want to put them through that stress. I could use financial support from him, but is it worth the potential conflict and emotional toll on the kids? Has anyone faced a similar dilemma?

2

How does your state determine child support? Most states use calculations based on placement time. Given that he hasn’t exercised his placement time in years, it’s unlikely it would be enforced now. Consulting with a lawyer would be a good idea.

3

If you decide to go through with a custody modification, do NOT do it without an attorney. It can be a lengthy and costly process. If anything, consider just filing for a modification of child support instead.

4

If he hasn’t seen them in years, he wouldn’t just get 50/50 again. File the modification and ask for back child support from when visitation stopped.

5

Determine how much emotional stress and financial cost of going to court is worth it. You have two years left with your older child. Is it worth dealing with him?

6

CT has updated definitions of abuse. If you do go to court, you can ask for a family evaluation to determine custody. Your kids are old enough to express their preferences.