A friend of mine is going through a tough divorce and her husband included a clause in the custody agreement that their children can never be around her boyfriend. They just started dating after he cheated and moved out, and now he’s saying this without giving any reasons listed in the documents. The boyfriend was a high school friend, and the ex claims it’s because he did recreational drugs back in the day. Is he allowed to do this? Is there a certain level of criminal activity that would actually justify not allowing the kids to meet this guy? My friend is meeting with her attorney next Friday, but I wanted to get some insight to share with her. It seems unreasonable that he can just say ‘never’ without any justification. She would be open to a compromise, like waiting a certain period before introducing them, especially since he’s likely to have multiple short relationships anyway.
That’s really frustrating. Generally, unless there’s a serious reason like a history of violence or drug issues, a judge isn’t going to uphold something like that. It’s more about the kids’ well-being than controlling each other’s happiness. If he’s just trying to control the situation, the judge will likely see that.
Your friend should definitely request that she doesn’t want the kids around her ex’s girlfriend either. It’s a two-way street.
Is that clause actually signed in a court order? Or is it just part of the negotiations? Usually, people ask for extreme things in negotiations and then settle somewhere in between. She should push back on that and suggest a reasonable time frame like 6 months.
From what I know, that can’t really be enforced. It’s pretty petty of him to say that without any valid reasons.
She should avoid agreeing to any restrictions that limit her life outside of what’s best for the children. As long as she’s not putting the kids in harm’s way, there shouldn’t be any restrictions.
This seems excessive. If neither party has been in a serious relationship for a long time, it shouldn’t be a big deal. They might want to have a clause that requires both parents to wait a certain period before introducing new partners to the kids.
As far as I know, unless there’s proof that the boyfriend would harm the children, he can’t enforce that.
She might consider running a background check on the boyfriend and showing it in court. That way, she can prove he’s safe to be around the kids.
She should counter with a similar request. No romantic partners around the kids until a certain period has passed. It’s only fair.
It’s important to establish boundaries. After the divorce, there should be room for both parties to date but introducing kids should be based on the stability of the relationship.
Your friend really needs to focus on her kids’ well-being. Introducing new partners too soon can be confusing for them. It’s better to wait until the relationship is stable.
She needs a lawyer who can help her navigate this. It’s not good to go through this process alone.