I’m in a difficult situation and need some advice. I’ve been in a domestic violence relationship with my baby’s father and became a stay-at-home mom after moving states with him while pregnant. He has physically abused me while drunk, even while I was holding our now 4-month-old baby. Recently, I mentioned wanting to go to family law for a move-away order because I have no family support here and I fear for my safety. He threatened to kick me out when he got home, so I packed my things and left to stay with a cousin in a different county. Now, he’s filed for custody and claims I’m withholding and kidnapping our child, even though I’ve offered supervised visits because I don’t trust him. He insists on having her three days a week or it will look bad in court. Can I get in trouble for this in California?
You need to understand that unless you have proof of him harming the children, the judge likely won’t care about your situation. Withholding the child could backfire, leading to him gaining primary custody. You might end up with 50/50 custody.
Get advice from legal aid, especially from a local domestic violence agency. They can help you file for a restraining order, which could set temporary custody arrangements. Document his abuse and keep your plans confidential.
Since no custody order is in place, it is not considered kidnapping. Look for a domestic violence shelter for help. Save any threatening messages he sends you and keep communications strictly about the child.
From my experience, if he just handed you paperwork without filing it properly, it might not hold. Make sure you know your rights and consult with someone who understands family law.
You can check out the California court’s self-help website for more information about relocating with your child.