Daycare affects custody?

Seeking Advice
1

Is a child going to daycare a problem for custody decisions? Please bear with me if this is hard to read, I’m not a native speaker and I’m trying to organize my thoughts. Thanks for your help.

I have sole legal decision-making and most of the physical custody, nearly 98%. The child goes to their father every other Saturday because of his history with domestic violence and issues with child endangerment reported by CPS.

The child, a toddler, has been in daycare for almost a year and has significant developmental delays. Before I enrolled her, I spoke with her pediatrician, who recommended daycare for development and building her immune system. The child’s therapist supports this decision as well. It has greatly helped her social skills. The therapist collaborates with the daycare teachers and me to meet the child’s needs during sessions.

Now, the father has asked the court to let his mother take care of the child instead of sending her to daycare, claiming she gets sick from being there. I know kids get sick at daycare, but I believe it’s not the only reason she gets sick. She had severe health issues as a newborn and has been hospitalized three times in her first year. Since she turned one, she hasn’t been hospitalized. I think her past health issues contribute to her getting sick. She also has enlarged tonsils, and the ENT suggests they should be removed when she is older. The pediatrician has also mentioned that children who experience domestic violence may have delays and health problems.

The father and grandmother have been trying to gain custody despite safety concerns for the child, including blaming the daycare for her illnesses. The father is planning to take the child to his mother because he needs to work, which is okay with the court. The grandmother lives in a cluttered home with little room to move. A court-appointed expert found the living situation needed improvement but nothing has changed. I don’t know how it is now.

How might the court view daycare as a problem when doctors have recommended it? Now that the child is healthier, is attending daycare still an issue? Plus, the daycare has become part of her routine, and she enjoys the activities they offer, which the grandmother cannot provide.

2

No, daycare should not be a relevant issue. Your ex doesn’t really have a say in what happens with the child at this point. They can petition the court, but it’s unlikely anything will change given his past issues and the current custody situation. Kids do get sick at daycare, that’s normal. Just keep the recommendations from the therapist and doctors organized in case he does take you to court.

3

@Zoey
My husband’s use of after-school daycare was actually cited as a reason to reduce his physical custody last year. The judge said, ‘The children will spend school days with their mother so that they don’t have to go to daycare.’ Anything can affect a custody decision; it really depends on the judge’s perspective.

4

@Daphne
I’m worried that might happen in my case too. But the child won’t be spending time with the father, and the grandmother has no custody rights. Still, the father might try to get more time and pass the child to his mom. The judge ordered the father to participate in therapy for the child’s needs six months ago, but he hasn’t done it. I talked to my lawyer, and if necessary, I will cancel the daycare. The child’s therapist is on my side and believes daycare is essential for kids with special needs to explore early. My child has severe delays qualifying for developmental disabilities. I believe daycare has been crucial for her growth; she learns a lot from other kids. Her emotional skills have improved, and I’ve been involved in her therapy at home and daycare for over a year.