Hello all, I went through a divorce in 2024 where it was agreed that my ex take our 3 cats. Actually, he wanted to split them up but I refused. I got to keep our dog full time with some visitation. I thought this was a fair choice. We were going to sell the house, which I was absolutely devastated over. As time went on, I chose to refinance the house in my name and just keep it. My ex had still been living with me through this. Around June 2024, my ex approached me and asked if he could be more involved in the dog’s life, going to vet visits, seeing him more, etc. I agreed, I thought that was fair. I know he loves our dog. I was getting closer to the refinance process, and he asked for an addendum to our divorce stating that he gets our dog 50% of the time. I said no, and he responded, ‘then I’m not signing off on the house.’ So of course, I agreed and said let me just give him what he wants for now and we can fight on this later. We spoke to a lawyer and got an addendum that states he will have the dog 50% of the time as well as the cats. So he moved out on January 1st of this year. The cats and animals are still with me. Even when he lived with me, he was never around. I have proof of this in text messages stating he is never around. He neglected all of the animals. He would come around maybe once a week to clean the litter box and sometimes feed them and give them water. I only agreed to him buying the cat food and the litter box because I was petty, and maybe that bit me in the ass. Well, today I just got a text that says he wants to take the cats on April 1st; he found an apartment. I am devastated. I am scared these cats will not receive the attention and care they need. I do not want them to go with him. My only huge concern is that he was getting most of the cat food and took one to the vet. I have everything in my name, and he is my emotional support animal, with vet bills in my name. I know I could fight for the dog, but I guess my question is, do I get a lawyer? I’ve talked to my friends and family and they are all telling me to just not answer the door when he comes. I feel bad doing that. They are telling me to not respond and if he calls the cops, it will go to court and I would get a court-appointed judge, and the court would give the animals to whoever they see is a better fit for a home. But with the addendum to the divorce agreement is what is making me very scared because legally he can take them. Advice on what I should do? Do I get a lawyer or do I even have a leg to stand on here?
Here’s the thing. The judge is going to approach this in one of two ways: order you to fulfill your agreement and allow your ex to have possession of the animals according to your agreement, or hold you in civil contempt for not doing so. Typically, civil contempt would come with a monetary penalty for non-compliance, though civil contempt can include jail time until you comply. The judge refuses to enforce a possession schedule for property, which the animals are. The pets will then be divided like property, and if you both refuse to come to an agreement, he can order the pets sold, with each of you receiving half the profit.
@Angelina
That sounds really serious. I never thought it could come to that.
Animals are property. They do not give visitation for property. They need to be dealt with in the property settlement.
Paxton said:
Animals are property. They do not give visitation for property. They need to be dealt with in the property settlement.
I get that, but I just feel so attached to them.
Please read this link about animal law. It might help clarify things for you.
Amos said:
Please read this link about animal law. It might help clarify things for you.
Thanks for the resource. I’ll check it out.
He has a hidden agenda, I’d bet my cat.
Rebecca said:
He has a hidden agenda, I’d bet my cat.
I feel like he’s trying to use the animals to control the situation.
I’m really not sure why you agreed to him having them in the first place. If you changed your mind, you need to take it back to court. Otherwise, you’ll be in contempt.
Keaton said:
I’m really not sure why you agreed to him having them in the first place. If you changed your mind, you need to take it back to court. Otherwise, you’ll be in contempt.
I agreed because I was scared about losing the house. Now I regret that decision.
Why wasn’t ownership of the house dealt with in the original divorce decree before you made this animal addendum?
Charlotte said:
Why wasn’t ownership of the house dealt with in the original divorce decree before you made this animal addendum?
I didn’t think about it at the time. I was just focused on keeping the house.
You already agreed, sorry.
Johnstone said:
You already agreed, sorry.
I know, and that’s what makes this so hard.
You have agreed to 50/50 on the dog and he gets the cats. This is over. They are not your cats anymore.
Brennan said:
You have agreed to 50/50 on the dog and he gets the cats. This is over. They are not your cats anymore.
That’s a hard pill to swallow. I wish things were different.
If he has been paying for most of the cat food and took one to the vet, then you genuinely don’t have a leg to stand on over the cats. You can and should go talk to a lawyer about not permitting him to have the dog at all, because it is an emotional support animal.
@Uliana
I definitely want to keep the dog. It’s so important to me.
The court would look at what you agreed to. You agreed to give him the animals. You signed an agreement which means you must not have thought he was unfit at the time.