I’m posting this on behalf of my friend as I think she needs to come to terms with reality. Her and her husband have been married for a year and a half. Their daughter is now 6 months old. They are FINALLY getting a divorce (they got married after knowing each other for 4 months, it’s been a crap-show). She is finishing up her master’s degree in psychology and hasn’t worked since finding out she was pregnant back in early 2024. She told me today that she spoke to a family lawyer. Apparently, the lawyer fed into my friend’s delusions because what she was telling me sounded INSANE. Her husband makes about 80k a year, with overtime and bonuses it can be a little over 100k. My friend believes she is entitled to $1200 a month in child support AND $2000 in alimony. Is this even possible for her to achieve? Without overtime and bonuses, he is making roughly 4500 a month and she expects 3200 of that? Oh, and she expects him to pay her lawyer fees. She is also convinced that the court system will allow her to keep full custody of her daughter with visitation for the father until 5 years old. Apparently, her lawyer said she won’t have to worry about overnights with the father until the child is 3 years old but again, that just doesn’t seem fathomable considering they are MARRIED and he has been with the daughter since birth. I suggested getting a second opinion and face the reality of the situation. Just curious as to if her demands even can be achieved? Should she get another lawyer or am I just clueless? When I sent her a screenshot that says NC will allow overnights with dad as early as 6-9 months she shut down and said “I will make him agree,” which is just another can of worms.
It sounds like your friend has some high expectations. In NC, child support is based on the income of both parents, and the formula usually doesn’t allow for such a big chunk of one parent’s income to go to the other. $1200 in child support may be reasonable depending on the custody arrangement, but $2000 in alimony seems excessive given the circumstances.
Custody and visitation are typically shared, especially since they are both parents. Full custody with limited visitation for the father until the child is 5 is unlikely unless there are serious concerns about his parenting.
In NC, alimony is determined based on a variety of factors including the length of the marriage, the recipient’s needs, and the payer’s ability to pay. Since they’ve only been married for a year and a half, she might not get what she’s expecting.
It sounds like she needs a reality check. Courts tend to favor shared responsibilities in custody cases unless there are significant issues. The expectation that she can control his visitation seems misguided.
Definitely recommend she seeks another opinion. It’s important to have realistic expectations moving forward, especially for her mental health and the well-being of the child.
It’s tough watching a friend go through this. Just be supportive and encourage her to get the facts straight. She might need that support when reality hits.
Sounds like a lot of wishful thinking on her part. The court generally looks for arrangements that are in the best interest of the child, not just one parent.
She might want to consider a more collaborative approach with her ex rather than trying to push him away. That could lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.