A few years back, I got really sick and asked my ex to take care of our teenager for what I thought would be around two weeks since I couldn’t care for him. Unfortunately, I ended up being sick for much longer. After about a month, my ex told me that our teenager wanted to live with him permanently and drafted a word document agreement where I would pay him support and allow our teenager to move to his city, which is a few hours away. I agreed because I was still unwell, which lasted about a year. During this time, my ex started isolating my teen from me, and it turns out my teenager was being emotionally abused and manipulated. They lost a lot of weight and became withdrawn and depressed. Eventually, my teenager decided to leave their father’s home but chose to live with their grandparents in that city to finish senior year of high school. Now, my ex has gone no contact with me and is refusing to pay support or provide transportation as agreed. Instead, he is encouraging my teenager to get emancipated. I have a few questions: 1. If we go back to court, will his written agreement that I signed override our custody agreement in any way? 2. Is the child support/custody agreement enforceable if the child is living with their grandparents (my ex’s parents)? 3. If my teenager is almost 18, is it worth going to court over?
What’s your goal in going to court and how close is your teen to turning 18?
Fenn said:
What’s your goal in going to court and how close is your teen to turning 18?
She is 8 months away from turning 18. I really can’t afford everything on my own, and back child support would help cover the costs of college since she has been accepted.
None of what you’ve shared mentions anything specific about child support. What has the child support agreement been throughout this situation?
Miko said:
None of what you’ve shared mentions anything specific about child support. What has the child support agreement been throughout this situation?
The original agreement was for support to be provided while she lived with her dad, but now that she’s with her grandparents, I’m unsure how it all works.
If you are looking for child support, you could open a case with your county’s child support service program. Since you already have a court order for child support, they can help you enforce it. Just keep in mind that your inability to care for your child and the child’s age might impact the court’s decision.
You can definitely file for a change of custody or child support if living arrangements have changed. Was your original child support order filed in court? Because if that written agreement was never filed, it might not be enforceable.
Since your child is almost 18, it’s unlikely the courts would force them to live with their dad. They will probably consider where the teenager wants to live. If they are living with the grandparents, child support could likely go to them from both you and your ex.
@Catherine
That’s good to know. I just want to make sure my daughter is taken care of, especially with college coming up.
Honestly, if your ex is encouraging emancipation just to avoid paying child support, that’s a red flag. It might not be worth going to court if the child support ends at 18, but you should still consider what’s best for your daughter in the long run.