My ex only has 10% custody but stopped sending his weekly payments over a year ago, so I had to file for child support. After he got served, he told me his lawyer advised him not to send our kid a birthday gift because the court wouldn’t see it as support. The birthday thing isn’t the issue, but I’m wondering—why does he even have a lawyer for this? Is that normal? I always thought child support was just about plugging numbers into a formula, not some big legal battle.
For context: Our child is 6, and I never filed before because I know he works in cash and underreports to the IRS. I figured I wouldn’t get much, but at this point, anything is better than nothing.
What kind of numbers are you looking at? I’ve had to factor in company cars, per diem, housing, and under-the-table jobs. Sometimes you need to get into the details, especially if they owe back support.
@Fintan
Just had a trial last week where a guy claimed to be an ‘influencer’ with 150K followers. He said he wasn’t getting paid, but the judge asked how much his free food and travel were worth every week. She made it clear she could count those perks as income.
@Fintan
Not so much the hotel, but meals? Definitely. Housing too, like when an apartment maintenance guy gets discounted rent. Company cars count as income too—I see it a lot with cops.
It still has to go through the court, even if the amount is based on a formula. Child support services usually offer a lawyer for around $400.
Honestly, he might be lying about having a lawyer, or maybe he just got a quick consultation. Some people pay a lawyer just to hear what they want to hear.
Wait… he seriously thinks he shouldn’t get his kid a birthday present just because of child support? Wow. That’s not gonna make him look good in court.
Nora said:
Wait… he seriously thinks he shouldn’t get his kid a birthday present just because of child support? Wow. That’s not gonna make him look good in court.
I doubt a lawyer actually told him that. More likely, they said ‘gifts don’t count as child support,’ and he twisted it into an excuse.
Nora said:
Wait… he seriously thinks he shouldn’t get his kid a birthday present just because of child support? Wow. That’s not gonna make him look good in court.
Yeah, he’s probably one of those guys who goes, ‘bUt I bUy ThInGs FoR kId, tHaT cOuNtS!’
I get annoyed every time I see that child support deposit notification. I’d rather he just disappear. He hasn’t seen the kids in over ten years and still owes more than 30 grand.
Adrian said:
I get annoyed every time I see that child support deposit notification. I’d rather he just disappear. He hasn’t seen the kids in over ten years and still owes more than 30 grand.
A close friend was in a similar situation. If your ex ever applies for Social Security, make sure your child support order is on file with them. They can take unpaid support from his benefits, whether it’s SSDI or retirement. My friend actually got what she was owed that way.
Might be worth talking to a lawyer yourself. Some states let you claim back child support for up to five years, even if there was no order in place. Look into it.
Daryn said:
He probably just wants to fight the amount. Trying to count a birthday present as child support? What a joke.
My ex used to pull something similar. We’d go shopping with the kids, and he’d insist on paying for groceries. Then, a day or two later, he’d start a fight over something stupid and demand I pay him back.
After the third or fourth time, I stopped going out with him. And of course, the things he paid for were always diapers and wipes—the stuff our kids needed, not anything for me.
He’s got a lawyer because that lawyer’s job is to fight hard to make sure he pays as little as possible. A good dad doesn’t need a court order to support his kid. A bad one hires a lawyer to fight it.