I could really use some advice here. I’m an American living in the Bay Area, and I’ve been dating a Chinese woman for almost a year. She’s been in the US for about five years now. Even though she’s been separated from her husband for a long time, they still live together as roommates because they don’t have a lot of money. They only really talk to each other when it comes to their child.
Recently, her husband found out about us dating. I spend time with her and her son, and I think her young son might have mentioned something, plus her husband saw something on her WeChat story. Now, despite their separation and previous agreement to work on their divorce, he’s threatening her. He’s saying that because she “cheated,” he can get full custody of their four-year-old and that she could be deported back to China. They’ve both discussed dating other people before and agreed it was fine, so this seems more about him finding out she’s actually dating.
This has thrown her into a panic, causing her a lot of anxiety and stress. She’s really worried, and I am too. She doesn’t have money for a lawyer to help explain her situation. From what I’ve read, relationships, even if they involved cheating, don’t impact child custody unless the child’s safety is at risk.
Also, infidelity might affect immigration status in some cases, but if you show you’re separated, it shouldn’t matter. Plus, having a child here should protect her from deportation.
Does anyone know of good resources or a lawyer who speaks both Mandarin and English? She’s from rural China and doesn’t know much about US law. Any advocacy groups that could help her out? Her husband is really trying to scare her, and it’s awful to see her so stressed.
Has she been a permanent resident for more than 3 years?
If she became a permanent resident through marriage to a US citizen, USCIS understands that marriages can end. As long as she married in good faith and not just to get residency, she can still apply for citizenship on her own or renew her PR status after a divorce. Plus, being the mother of a US citizen helps a lot since the US generally doesn’t want to separate a mother from her citizen child. This means her chances of being deported are pretty low unless there are significant details we don’t know.
Regarding the divorce: In a hostile divorce situation, she needs a divorce attorney. She can get a referral from her state bar association, which often offers consultations for a reasonable fee. Some lawyers might work on a sliding scale or take fees from the settlement instead of upfront. Contacting a domestic violence shelter could also provide legal contacts. Depending on where you are, like in Seattle or San Francisco, the bar association should be able to find someone who speaks her language if needed.
To summarize:
Knowing her immigration status will help provide more specific advice.
If she got her residency through marriage, she can still become a citizen after divorce.
Infidelity is a matter to discuss with an immigration attorney, but it’s unlikely to be an issue if the marriage was entered in good faith.
Hi there, Yes, immigration status can impact child custody decisions, but it is not the sole determining factor. Child custody cases are primarily decided based on the best interests of the child.