I apologize in advance if this is a bit wordy, but I want to include details that are crucial to the situation. My ex-fiancé (28) got involved with a new woman (21) who was pregnant (not his child) shortly after we split in 2023. We had agreed not to introduce new people into our daughter’s life until we were sure it was serious. However, our daughter was introduced to her anyway.
Right now, our daughter spends Friday evening through Sunday with him, but now she’s only there on Saturdays during the day. This is partly because he often skips days or nights, saying he’s stressed or tired. More so, I’ve limited her time there because I’ve been hearing more about his relationship not going well. He’s mentioned her breaking into the home and how she doesn’t care for her infant son, which raises concerns about safety.
Five months ago, he told me she was pregnant again and has expressed multiple times that he wishes to sign away his parental rights to this baby. Three weeks ago, he let me know he formally trespassed her from the home. Then, two weeks ago, he messaged me late at night saying he wanted me to meet someone new, as they had been asking to meet me. I told him I wasn’t interested right now and that he should give it time before introducing our daughter. But the following Saturday, his new girlfriend was at the house anyway.
I was reluctant to have our daughter go inside because I’m worried about his judgment regarding her wellbeing, especially with relationships. The next day, it seemed she was moving in, and for the first time in months, the house was clean. It wasn’t clean for our daughter, but now it is for the new girlfriend, which really upsets me.
There’s no bed for my daughter there, and I fear he will want her to sleep over, possibly next to a stranger. I brought this up to him, but he couldn’t understand. I likened it to me getting a new boyfriend and having her in bed with us, and he didn’t see the problem. I find it incredibly inappropriate.
I’ve been documenting his actions and involvement since we broke up, including him not coming home or seeing our daughter for a week at a time, his dwindling involvement, passing out while drinking with her around, and admitting in text that he has an alcohol problem. The state of the house since she and I moved out is concerning too.
I feel stuck, but my daughter’s wellbeing is my top priority. I need help understanding what I can do, if I’m overreacting, and how to move forward. Thanks in advance.