Ex is keeping child support money that was sent back to him… what can I do?

This has been so frustrating. I get child support for my daughter, but the child support office had the wrong end date in their system. My ex’s employer had the correct date, so they kept taking money from his check, but when they sent it to child support, it got returned to him because their system showed the payments were done.

I only realized this when my payments suddenly stopped. I contacted child support, and they explained what happened. I sent in proof to fix the date, but it took weeks for them to update it. Now I’m getting payments again, but I’m missing weeks of money that got sent back to my ex.

I tried reaching out to him, but he claims he never got anything back (which I fully expected). I don’t have proof that he received it, just what child support told me. He’s always looking for ways to make my life harder, so I know he’s not going to give it back willingly. I’m planning to call my lawyer, but if I don’t have solid proof, I don’t know what can even be done.

Since the system has been updated, call child support and ask about his arrears. They should contact him to get the money back. If he doesn’t pay, they might take more from future paychecks or extend his payments beyond the original end date.

@Dara
Thank you. I’m going to call them!

Maya said:
@Dara
Thank you. I’m going to call them!

If he owes money, he still has to pay, no matter what the end date says. My ex owes over $30,000 and has to keep paying until it’s all covered.

@Lucy
In my state (WA), when my last kid aged out, child support contacted my ex. He agreed to pay $50 a month on a $26k arrears balance! So yes, they still have to pay, but sometimes they get to pick the amount.

@Lucy
That’s insane. I’m sorry you had to deal with that for so long.

Your lawyer should be able to work with child support to get proof of the payments being returned. His employer should also have records showing if he got the money. Since things are bad between you two, let your lawyer handle this. It was child support’s mistake, so they should be the ones fixing it.

@Juno
Completely agree. Thank you.

Child support should have already added those missed payments to his arrears. Call them and ask for a full accounting to make sure it’s on record. They can go after him for it.

As for the money sent back, there’s definitely a paper trail. If child support issued a check to him, there’s proof. If they sent it another way, there’s proof. He’s not getting out of paying what he owes.

@LillyGrace
I work for child support, and this happens often. Tell your caseworker you want those missing payments added to his arrears.

The state will eventually fix this, and his account will show unpaid support. They might not have sent the money back to him yet, but either way, he still owes you.

You can go through a lawyer to speed it up, but that’ll cost you. Or you can keep pushing child support yourself. Call them every week and check on the status. The more you stay on them, the faster they’ll deal with it.

Don’t waste your time talking to your ex. Let child support handle it. They’ll get the records, and once they see the mistake, he won’t have a choice but to pay.

@JusticeJenna
Thank you so much! I really appreciate your advice!