I’m dealing with an uncomfortable situation with my ex, who I share 50/50 custody with. He often asks me for sex, even though I’ve made it clear that those boundaries are set. Recently, he’s been inviting me to join him and the kids on outings, but only if I agree to have sex with him. Of course, I say no to the sex, but I still want to join the family outing for the kids’ sake. When I refuse, he says no to me coming, and he hypes up the kids about the idea of me joining, making it seem like I don’t want to see them. Any advice on how to handle this? It’s becoming very stressful. Thanks in advance!
I’d recommend going to court to ask for a communication modification. Request that all communication between you two goes through a parenting app. You can present evidence of this behavior, and it might help. Good luck!
I would get proof of his behavior before taking it to court. That way, you have a solid case.
Start recording these conversations and take them to court. This is completely inappropriate.
You’re in a tough situation. Keep enforcing your boundaries and documenting every time he tries to manipulate you this way. If it keeps happening, talk to a family law attorney about possibly modifying the custody agreement. Also, maybe try explaining the situation to your kids in an age-appropriate way to clear any misunderstandings.
Document every instance. Ask the judge to order that no discussions about extra time with the kids happen without clear boundaries. He’s manipulating the situation to make you look like the bad guy to the kids. You might be able to get this behavior stopped through legal means.
You might want to limit all communication to email or text. He’ll stop if he knows you’re keeping a record.
If your kids are old enough, you could gently explain to them that it’s not that you don’t want to join in on activities, but sometimes it’s just not possible. Keep it age-appropriate and make sure they know you love them. Also, keep records of everything for court if you need it.
Stick to your boundaries, no sex, and don’t join those outings if they come with conditions. Your kids will understand that you love them and want to spend time with them. Stay strong and enforce clear communication. Is there a court-ordered plan in place?
@Natasha
Yes, we have a court-ordered plan that’s as detailed as possible.
@Natasha
Great. Stick to the plan and don’t let him manipulate you. If he keeps using the kids as leverage, document everything and consider further legal action. Are you working on divorce papers?
Natasha said:
@Natasha
Great. Stick to the plan and don’t let him manipulate you. If he keeps using the kids as leverage, document everything and consider further legal action. Are you working on divorce papers?
Luckily, we were never married.