We live in Oregon. My ex has been working under the table for the past 10 years. Our child is 12 now, and he’s only thrown me $50 here and there. He’s a barber, so it was easy for him to hide his money. But now he just opened his own barber shop.
Can I go after him for the money he owes, or is this just a waste of time?
Yes, you absolutely can. Ask for his bank records—both personal and business accounts—to see what he’s bringing in. Also check if he’s using PayPal, Venmo, Cash App, or anything like that to move money around.
Do you already have a child support order in place? If so, does he have to pay you directly or through the state? If he was supposed to pay through the state and hasn’t, they can help you get what he owes. If there’s no order, you can still go through the state to set one up.
I don’t love paying alimony and child support, but I still do it every month. My mom raised me alone, and I saw how hard it was when she didn’t get the support she was owed.
So, as another guy—this dude sounds like trash. Take him to court and get every dime.
@Lennie
Might be worth waiting until his business is more established. If you go after him too aggressively right away, he might shut it down or start hiding money again, and then you’re back at square one.
@Lennie
Curious—why do you hate alimony and child support? I get alimony, but child support?
Belinda said:
@Lennie
Curious—why do you hate alimony and child support? I get alimony, but child support?
Because, in my case, child support was used as a weapon to try to ruin me financially. My ex accused me of hiding money, falsifying records, and all kinds of stuff just to squeeze more out of me.
I have 50/50 custody, and she already gets half my income from alimony, but that wasn’t enough for her. She dragged me through court trying to get more, claiming I made money under the table. Forensic accountants looked into it and found nothing.
Then, 18 months later, she tried again because she’s terrible with money and assumed I had more. The judge actually scolded her for being greedy.
Funny thing—because of how our incomes were calculated, she ended up owing me $14 a week in child support. I didn’t even ask for it. I just wanted peace.
I get why child support exists and I support it when it’s fair. But the system makes it way too easy for people to abuse it.
@Lennie
Where do you live that alimony isn’t time-limited?
Drew said:
@Lennie
Where do you live that alimony isn’t time-limited?
It is time-limited, but I got screwed. Long story short, I was married for just over 10 years, and now I have to pay alimony for as long as I was married.
People ask if I’d ever get married again—I just laugh.
@Lennie
100% agree.
If his business is legit and on the books, go after the back child support! He can’t hide now.
A quick search shows that Oregon requires a license to work as a barber. If you have a valid child support order, report his business to your local Child Support Services office.
They’ll send him a letter and notify the licensing board. If he doesn’t start paying, they can suspend his barber license. If he isn’t licensed, they’ll go after him for that, too.
Either way, he’ll be forced to deal with it.
I’ve practiced family law in Oregon for 16 years (but I’m not your lawyer, so this isn’t legal advice). There are a lot of missing details, like whether you already have a judgment in place and what exactly it says. You should talk to an attorney, but here’s what I think:
Going after someone who works under the table is tough. Normally, child support is based on tax returns and pay stubs. If those don’t exist, you have to prove unreported income, which isn’t easy.
You can request bank statements, subpoena employers, and even take a deposition where they have to testify under oath. But if there are no records, they’ll just say they don’t remember or straight-up lie.
Your best bet? Let the Department of Justice’s Child Support Enforcement Division handle it. You can apply for support services here.
They usually can’t garnish business accounts, but since he needs a barber license, he might not be able to renew it if he owes child support.
Also, if he moves money from his business account to his personal account, that can be garnished.
You’re definitely not wasting your time going after what he owes.
He can still try to hide his income, but you can argue in court that he must have been making money to open his own shop. You could ask the judge to assume he earns as much as other barbers in the area.
If he keeps dodging payments, the court could even threaten jail time. That might be enough to make him finally pay up.