My girlfriend and her ex have a custody agreement. We recently moved in together, and now her ex is taking her back to court, saying this is a big enough change that he should get full custody. The kid has their own room, and everything has been fine. We hired a lawyer and already went to court once, but the hearing got delayed because the child’s lawyer didn’t meet with the kid in time.
Since then, her ex has been bombarding her phone with long rants, telling her to give up custody. The custody agreement says messages should only be about the child—nothing else. We know blocking him might not be a good idea since courts don’t like that. What options does she have to stop the harassment? Can the court step in and do something?
At the next hearing, she should ask the judge to require all communication to go through a court-approved parenting app. She could also ask if it’s okay to block his texts but still allow calls for emergencies.
Not knocking any of the advice here—some great suggestions already! Just adding something that helped me: Instead of dumping a pile of screenshots on your lawyer (which they’ll charge you to go through), create a PDF or an Excel spreadsheet summarizing everything. Include dates, times, and a short description of what was said. Lawyers find this much easier to work with, and it could make things smoother in court.
Also, the fact that there’s a child’s attorney involved suggests the judge isn’t sure who to believe yet. While dealing with the harassment, make sure her lawyer is prepared to counter any claims her ex is making.
Does the custody agreement say anything about new partners moving in? Some agreements have specific steps that need to be followed before introducing a new partner into the child’s home.
Her lawyer should request that all communication go through a parenting app—courts often approve this. She should also save every message he sends and bring them to her lawyer. If this keeps up, she might even be able to file harassment charges.
@Aubrey
I had a court-ordered parenting app, and my ex still sent awful messages constantly. It was rough, but my lawyer told me that people who act like this usually burn themselves out when they realize they aren’t getting their way.
She shouldn’t block him because he might send something important about their kid. But she can mute him and check messages once a day or when necessary. There’s no rule that says she has to read every message the second it comes in.
She should forward everything to her lawyer and let them handle it. Lawyers can also contact his lawyer and warn him to stop. If it keeps up, those messages could be used in court against him.
@Reilly
You can support her, but she needs professional help for this. Look into therapy. Also, document everything and get the custody order updated. She can request all communication go through a court-monitored app. If needed, exchanges can happen at a police station or with a third party. Check out ‘parallel parenting’—it might help.