I received this message from my kid’s dad’s girlfriend today (they are not married, have been together like a year). We have a final order that states access is at my discretion, we do not have a current court case ongoing, and he has not identified who his ‘lawyer’ is. He has restrictions in place from CAS that require him to be fully supervised at all times - the supervisor is at my discretion since access is at my discretion. Usually, his girlfriend has supervised in the past, but recently he has not been seeing the kids on his own free will. He went about 2 months without seeing them, first Christmas without them, etc. During this time, he stated he was homeless as well as many other things. I allowed him to see the kids this weekend; he had them from Saturday to Sunday. I asked him a question about the weekend, etc., and he didn’t respond but instead, his girlfriend sent me this. I do not currently have a lawyer as we do not have a case open. I have no clue who his ‘lawyer’ is and why wouldn’t his ‘lawyer’ communicate themselves and serve me paperwork if something were to be changed?
In the latest episode of ‘no one rides harder for a deadbeat dad than his new girlfriend.’ Ignore her and do not let her supervise anymore.
If the visits are at your discretion, stop allowing them until he starts acting like a man and not a little boy hiding behind mommy’s skirts.
I have all my paperwork and multiple copies of it and I always ensure I have a copy on me. I just won’t send her the paperwork as I don’t believe she has a right to my legal documents.
She has zero say. However, if you want your ex to have supervised visits, you need a judge to order it and NEVER agree to a friend or family member to be the supervisor, especially not his girlfriend.
Cannot agree enough about the family friend. When my ex was doing court-ordered supervision, it became a huge mess. I learned most judges don’t care unless there’s clear evidence.
If there is an existing order, even if it’s old, that says his access needs to be supervised—don’t mess with it. The girlfriend is showing her colors, so you may want to re-evaluate her ability to supervise.
Big note, I’m an American lawyer, so Canadian law may be different. Usually, if the judgment affords you the right to determine the supervisor, you can revoke approval of the girlfriend as supervisor.
I would ask CAS if there is a facility for supervised visitation. There are places that are certified for visitation with professionals to supervise.
I did call CAS this morning and was able to get some clarification that I’m acting right. They told me that if I was doing what their dad’s gf is asking, it would raise concerns against me.