So I am asking this advice for a friend…really. She is a single mother of two. Her children are under the age of 13. She currently lives alone with the girls and receives help from the county with her rent, rent-controlled apartment. She has not been with the father of these girls for almost a year and even prior they have always been volatile and on and off. He has a substance abuse problem which he says is not an issue anymore, but behaviors seem to show otherwise. There is also a mental illness that requires medication. When they split, he started dating someone and they moved away together 2 hours away. He does not have a steady full-time job and relies on his girlfriend for housing, income, and auto. He wants these girls there every weekend. The mom is scared to go to court because she fears it will trigger aggression and backlash on the girls. What options does she have? What can she do to keep her kids in a healthy safe environment? Any advice is welcome 
Your friend should definitely consult a family lawyer who specializes in custody cases. They can provide tailored advice based on her specific situation. Given the father’s substance abuse issues, she may have grounds for limiting his visitation rights.
It’s important for her to prioritize her children’s safety. Document any concerning behaviors from the father, as this evidence can be crucial in court. If he has a history of volatility, it may be possible to request supervised visitation.
In NJ, the court typically favors the best interests of the children. If there’s evidence of substance abuse or mental health issues, that could impact custody arrangements. She should not be afraid to advocate for her children.
She should also consider seeking a restraining order if there is any threat of aggression from the father. It’s better to be proactive about her safety and her children’s well-being.
Encourage her to gather any evidence she has regarding the father’s behavior and their past relationship. This could include text messages, emails, or witness statements from friends or family who are aware of the situation.
If the father is struggling with mental health and substance issues, she might also want to explore family counseling options. This could help provide a neutral ground for communication about the kids.
Going to court can be intimidating, but it may be necessary to ensure her children are safe. If she feels threatened, she should consider legal representation to help navigate the process.
She should also familiarize herself with New Jersey’s laws regarding custody and visitation. There are resources available that can help guide her through the process.
It’s good that she has someone like you looking out for her. Encourage her to reach out to local support groups for single parents; they can provide valuable resources and emotional support.