So this is another update. There was an incident where the father removed me from access to my child’s new doctor that I set an appointment for. He took her instead of allowing me to take her, even though it was my time. I went up there and found him already in the back with her, and he had removed my access. I did leave; I wasn’t forcibly removed like he claimed, and I didn’t cause an aggressive scene like he said. I eventually got her back, which I mentioned in my last post. But now I’m worried that him saying I caused a scene when I didn’t will make me look bad. He also told the doctors all kinds of things, like that I don’t feed her properly and that I never get her medical care when she’s sick. He even sent me a text saying the doctor claimed she’s super unhealthy and not developing correctly. But I’ve never heard that before, so I’m assuming he’s going to get a report from that doctor. I’m not sure what to do. Since I’m blocked, I can’t take her to that doctor anymore, and he keeps refusing to give me back access. My family suggested I switch her PCP and inform him after I get her properly established, ensuring the doctors know to keep us both on file and get her another evaluation. But would that be a bad move? A doctor saying I’m neglectful would be very damaging. I feel helpless. I thought I had a slight victory, and then it feels like my ex is winning again. Should I just give up; am I cooked?
Get a good attorney. It’s a must.
Calm down. Your ex told you the doctor said that? Did you hear the doctor say it? Do you feed your child properly? If you didn’t hear it from the doctor, your ex is probably lying to hurt you. If your child is a normal weight for her age, a doctor would likely dismiss any accusations he’s trying to make. He’s counting on you to let him have his way.
@Brenda
I really hope that’s true. I just want to make sure my daughter is okay.
You should have access to the doctor and medical records. Call the doctor’s office and ask why you’ve been removed. My ex doesn’t have legal custody but still has access to medical and school records.
You’re a custodial parent. He cannot unilaterally prevent you from accessing your child’s medical records. What did the doctor’s office say when you contacted them? Is there evidence of you not feeding your child? Knowing he’s a liar, stop taking his word for it that the doctor says she’s unhealthy and not developing correctly. Why are you not taking this to your attorney?
@Sophia
I’m supposed to call the office in the morning. It’s been exhausting and I’m mentally fried.
Hang in there. Stay strong. You’ll get through this because he’s showing himself to be extremely high conflict and alienating. Your attorney can make that stand out in court.
Barbara said:
Hang in there. Stay strong. You’ll get through this because he’s showing himself to be extremely high conflict and alienating. Your attorney can make that stand out in court.
I hope so. I just feel so stressed and uncertain.
What has your lawyer said? Stop reacting to him. He’s doing things he knows will cause you to act out. Don’t let him control you. Take a copy of the current court orders to the doctor’s office, get the previous records transferred, but don’t do anything until you talk to your lawyer.
@Nova
I haven’t been able to speak to my lawyer yet. I’m just trying to keep it together.
Change doctors. He needs to be reeled in. You may need to see if he’s stable enough to be around your daughter and maybe file a restraining order.
If you just changed her PCP, you should be able to get her entire medical history from her old PCP. Your ex is just lying; he won’t get away with that in court.
Consider paying out of pocket for her old PCP until the court case is resolved.
Get all medical records from the previous PCP showing she is healthy. A sudden swing from years of healthy reports to one visit that your ex has blocked will look fishy to the judge. Let the judge know that he has blocked your access to the records.
Make sure you obtain documentation from the doctor stating that your ex did this. Bring your own court orders with you. I’ve dealt with a similar situation, and it’s not easy. I wish you the best. Please keep us updated.
Take the court papers to them and request copies of her records.
Get a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) as soon as possible. Who pays for her insurance? If he doesn’t have a job but covers her insurance, how is he paying for it?
He’s lying. He blocked your access for a reason, so he can lie to the doctor about you and prevent you from correcting his claims. Talk to your attorney about this and have them send the court order to the doctor’s office to reinstate your access.
@Barbara
I will definitely do that.