Hey everyone, I’m feeling pretty stressed and just need to vent a bit about my situation. My ex and I have been separated for over 10 years. I got pregnant the first time we were together, and it has been a struggle ever since. Six months ago, my ex and his spouse were arrested on felony child abuse charges, but it was for another child in their home. In 2021, DCS substantiated that my ex had molested that same child. After hearing this, I hired an attorney to help me fight for custody of my son. When we initially split, I was seen as the angry and crazy one rather than him being abusive. I was young and didn’t report the abuse I suffered, which included being pulled by my hair and having a knife held to my throat. I left but never reported it because I was scared the courts wouldn’t believe me. When we started litigation, I ended up with a not-so-great partner, and my ex used that against me, claiming I was on drugs. Even though DCS found my partner had drugs in his system, they didn’t find anything wrong with my parenting. I fought hard for nine months to see my son, but my ex kept him from me during that time. I eventually got sober and started to turn my life around, which led to me getting standard visitations. However, my ex has always limited my time with our son. In 2021, when I learned about the molestation allegations, I tried to modify our custody agreement, but the courts ruled in favor of my ex. Fast forward to now, the same child was abused again, leading to my ex’s arrest. I immediately contacted a lawyer, but I’m feeling frustrated with the slow process. My son won’t talk to DCS because his dad won’t let him. I’m seeing changes in my son’s behavior, and I’m worried that if he isn’t removed from that environment, it will cause irreparable damage. I’ve spent a lot of money fighting this, and I’m scared I’ll run out before I can protect my son. I need reassurance that I can still be redeemable after everything that’s happened. What are the chances my ex remains the primary parent considering all that’s occurred?
It sounds like you’ve been through so much. Have you considered documenting everything, including your son’s behavior changes? It could help your case.
I can’t believe your ex is still allowed to be around your son after everything that’s happened. Have you thought about seeking emergency custody again?
It’s really important that you focus on what’s best for your son. Keep pushing for therapy for him—it might help him open up.
You’ve made amazing progress. Being sober for 10 years is a huge accomplishment. That shows you can overcome your past. Stay strong.
Have you thought about getting a therapist for yourself too? It could help you process everything and give you the strength to keep fighting.