Updating with original post below.
My parents are trying to get Temporary and General Guardianship of my 16-year-old son. In their paperwork, they accuse me of ‘manipulating doctors and therapists.’ I’ve done everything I can to help my son, but it feels like they’ve twisted my efforts into something bad.
My husband and I can’t afford a lawyer, but we can pull together about $5,000 for a retainer. We were thinking about contesting their claims but still signing over guardianship. My son has told me many times that he will ‘do and say whatever it takes so he doesn’t have to live with me again.’
I don’t want to give up guardianship, but I feel like I have no choice. We don’t have the time or money to keep fighting them, and they know it. Since starting therapy, I’ve realized my relationship with my parents has always been toxic. My husband and I also have a toddler, and we just want to protect our peace. I’m worried they will keep dragging us to court.
We both work full-time, and my parents have cut us off from any support. Does anyone have advice?
Original post:
I had my son when I was 18 and was living with my parents. They never respected my authority as his mother. After years of therapy, I’ve come to understand how unhealthy my family dynamic was.
I got married and moved out with my son when he was 11. He’s 15 now, and I have had full legal and physical custody since he was 3.
Things were good until last year when he told a teacher that I ‘emotionally abused’ him, which led to a CPS case. The case was closed almost immediately, but it blindsided my husband and me. We later found out he was struggling with his mental health. Instead of talking to us, he told his school he was thinking about self-harm, and he was hospitalized for a week.
When he was released, he told the social worker he wanted to live with my parents. We already knew he preferred living with them, but the situation really highlighted how codependent and unhealthy their relationship is. My parents refused to work with us on a plan to bring him home and weren’t willing to cooperate with reunification. I never lost custody, I was never put on trial, and I’ve done everything I can to get him help for his mental health.
Now, it’s been almost a year, and he still refuses to come home. I’ve tried getting law enforcement involved, but they won’t do anything. I still provide his health insurance and therapy, but he refuses anything else from me—no clothes, no gifts, and now he’s even refusing therapy. My parents constantly use this against me, saying things like ‘we can report you for not buying school clothes,’ even though he won’t take anything from me.
I’ve spoken to multiple attorneys, and they all tell me there’s not much I can do at his age. They’ve even said I should just stop trying until he’s 18. My parents are giving him a ‘safe place to live,’ so legally, there’s nothing forcing him to come back.
I don’t know what to do anymore.