Help with NC separation and divorce... what can I expect?

Divorce Forum
1

Hey everyone, I’m hoping someone here can give me some insight. My husband surprised me with wanting to separate, and things have been tough. We’re in North Carolina, married for 4.5 years, no kids. He’s 66, I’m 65. He makes a lot more than me—$350k a year vs my $70k. He also has a big 401(b) and other assets, while I have… well, just my car.

His lawyer sent me a separation agreement that gives me basically nothing. I’ve been contributing a lot to the household during the marriage, and I’m wondering: will the court recognize that? Also, could I get spousal support? Things have gotten worse too—he’s been emotionally abusive and even got physical recently. Does a judge consider that kind of behavior? I’d appreciate any advice or similar experiences. Thanks!

2

Sounds rough, sorry you’re going through that. NC courts will look at the financial stuff for sure, like dividing marital assets. Emotional stuff doesn’t usually count toward that though.

3

Will said:
Sounds rough, sorry you’re going through that. NC courts will look at the financial stuff for sure, like dividing marital assets. Emotional stuff doesn’t usually count toward that though.

Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I was worried the emotional stuff wouldn’t matter. Do you know if spousal support is realistic?

4

Will said:
Sounds rough, sorry you’re going through that. NC courts will look at the financial stuff for sure, like dividing marital assets. Emotional stuff doesn’t usually count toward that though.

Depends. Since it’s a short marriage, long-term support isn’t likely. You might get temporary support while divorcing though.

5

Did you say he had a 401(b)? If it grew during the marriage, that increase could be split, right?

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Brice said:
Did you say he had a 401(b)? If it grew during the marriage, that increase could be split, right?

Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard! I think the growth is what’s considered marital property.

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Brice said:
Did you say he had a 401(b)? If it grew during the marriage, that increase could be split, right?

Yep, the increase in value during the marriage is usually split equitably. Not necessarily 50/50 though.

8

What’s your plan with the physical stuff? That could be important for your safety.

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Amory said:
What’s your plan with the physical stuff? That could be important for your safety.

Good point. I’m documenting everything and might need to file something if it escalates.

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Amory said:
What’s your plan with the physical stuff? That could be important for your safety.

Definitely document and consider a protective order if needed. Better safe than sorry.

11

Not to pry, but do you have a lawyer yet? Sounds like you’ll need one to push back on his separation terms.

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Justinbeiber said:
Not to pry, but do you have a lawyer yet? Sounds like you’ll need one to push back on his separation terms.

Not yet, but I think you’re right. His lawyer seems pretty aggressive.

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Justinbeiber said:
Not to pry, but do you have a lawyer yet? Sounds like you’ll need one to push back on his separation terms.

For sure get one. They can help negotiate or take it to court if needed.