So I’m looking into a DV-TRO against my ex (our son’s dad) for a few reasons—like harassment, stalking, and him messing with my custody time. He’s already filed a response. I’m in California, and I’m trying to figure out what kind of proof will actually convince a judge to make it permanent. Any tips on what I should focus on?
Hey there, dealing with similar stuff. I think California’s pretty strict, so if you’ve got evidence, you’re on the right track. They’ll probably want to see consistent patterns in his behavior, like messages or other evidence.
@Koa
Thanks! Yeah, I do have messages from him—one is like 20 paragraphs long. Guessing I should highlight parts where he sounds controlling?
@Koa
Definitely! Point out any language that feels manipulative or where he’s just plain trying to disturb you. Judges look for that stuff.
If he’s ever shown up unannounced or stayed somewhere you didn’t want him, that might count as stalking in CA. Do you have any records of that?
Lennie said:
If he’s ever shown up unannounced or stayed somewhere you didn’t want him, that might count as stalking in CA. Do you have any records of that?
Yeah, he once stayed outside my apartment for an hour when I told him to leave. I got some photos and even a witness.
Lennie said:
If he’s ever shown up unannounced or stayed somewhere you didn’t want him, that might count as stalking in CA. Do you have any records of that?
Perfect! That’ll help show he wasn’t respecting boundaries.
Did he ever pick up your kid when it wasn’t his turn? Courts take custody interference seriously.
Barbara said:
Did he ever pick up your kid when it wasn’t his turn? Courts take custody interference seriously.
Yeah, he picked our son up from school when it was my day. Happened right after the stalking thing too. I’ve got a police report for that incident.
Barbara said:
Did he ever pick up your kid when it wasn’t his turn? Courts take custody interference seriously.
That’s solid. If it’s a pattern, it could really support your case.
California courts also look at how all this affects your peace of mind. Make sure you mention how this has impacted you mentally.
Raleigh said:
California courts also look at how all this affects your peace of mind. Make sure you mention how this has impacted you mentally.
Good call. This has been really stressful for me, honestly. I’ll make sure to mention that.
IDK if you have a lawyer, but having one really helps! They know what judges look for and can organize everything.
Paisley said:
IDK if you have a lawyer, but having one really helps! They know what judges look for and can organize everything.
I’ve thought about it! Just hoping I have enough on my own with all the proof I’ve gathered.
Paisley said:
IDK if you have a lawyer, but having one really helps! They know what judges look for and can organize everything.
You might! With those messages, photos, and witnesses, you could be in a good spot.