I share 50/50 legal and physical custody with my coparent in Minnesota. For 14 years, I’ve been the one handling all medical care for our kids, like doctor appointments, glasses, braces, and even specialists. My coparent has never attended an appointment. Now, I need to present to the court that he’s not involved in medical decisions, but I don’t want it to look like I’m making unilateral choices. Any advice on how to approach this without it backfiring?
You should definitely emphasize how responsible you’ve been with the kids’ medical care. It’s important to show that you’ve kept him informed, but he has chosen not to participate. Has he been trying to control things lately?
Unless he’s actively making choices that hurt the kids, the judge usually won’t take away his rights. It sounds like you’re in a tough spot.
Courts can be tricky. My ex didn’t get involved either, but they still upheld joint decision-making. It can be frustrating.
Maybe start scheduling medical appointments during his custodial time. That could show him what it’s like to be involved without you doing all the heavy lifting.
You could make a clear statement about his lack of involvement. For example, detail how many appointments he’s missed and provide records from the doctors confirming you’re the only one who brings the kids in.
You can get statements from the healthcare providers to back you up. They can confirm who has been making decisions and taking the kids to appointments.