My kids’ father is filing for joint managing conservatorship after 5 years of being absent from our child’s life. He hasn’t even met our child but now wants to establish his rights. I expect he’ll get visitation, but I really want to keep sole legal custody, especially when it comes to decisions about where we live and where my child goes to school. I’m concerned that being forced to make joint decisions will give him more control, and he’s pretty domineering. What factors do the courts usually consider in this kind of situation? What’s likely to happen in Texas?
Not at first, but most likely, the judge will come up with a step-up plan. Starting with visitation, then overnights, and eventually moving towards 50/50 custody unless he’s proven unfit. You’ll probably still get final decision-making power, though.
Depends on the judge, but unless he’s unfit, he’ll likely get legal custody. You could ask for decision-making power, which means he’d have access to school and medical docs but you’d make the big decisions like school and healthcare.
I had the same issue, and the court gave him 6 months of supervised visits by his mom. I wasn’t thrilled, to say the least. Hope things work out for you.
Charlotte said:
I had the same issue, and the court gave him 6 months of supervised visits by his mom. I wasn’t thrilled, to say the least. Hope things work out for you.
That sounds disappointing. How old was your child? And were things better after that?
My kid’s dad came back for visitation when she was 10, after 10 years of being absent. The court gave him a standard Texas visitation schedule. Unfortunately, past absence didn’t seem to matter much to them.
@Octavia
Not great news. Did he live far away? Maybe that made a difference?
@Octavia
Yes, he was 1,600 miles away at the time.
It depends. If he’s not on the birth certificate or you already have sole custody, the judge will likely favor you. But if he’s on the birth certificate and no court order exists, it might be harder to keep him from getting rights. Try to work out a deal with a step-up plan and make sure it’s fair but strict. If he doesn’t follow through, you’re in a better position. It could also be a way to keep the drama minimal if he’s only interested in reappearing to stir things up.
@Yan
Thanks for this. He’s not on the birth certificate, so I’m hopeful that’ll help. I doubt he’ll compromise easily, though.
Ask the court for reunification therapy. Since your child doesn’t know him, this could help establish a relationship slowly and safely.
Wynter said:
Ask the court for reunification therapy. Since your child doesn’t know him, this could help establish a relationship slowly and safely.
Be careful with reunification therapy—it’s often unregulated. Make sure it’s done by a licensed therapist who can be held accountable.
No judge in their right mind would give joint custody immediately after 5 years of absence. They would probably start with supervised visitation and work up from there.
Start by having your lawyer request a hair drug test. If he’s partying, he won’t be able to cheat it.
Make an offer where he has to slowly build a relationship. Maybe start with phone calls or letters and work up to visits. It could show the court that you’re reasonable and willing to work with him.
You can ask for a gradual, step-up plan that includes parenting classes, supervised visits, and maybe even a mental health check. That way, he has to prove he’s serious about being in the child’s life before getting more time.
@Suki
That makes sense. Thanks for the advice.