I have posted here before but another situation occurred. So me and my husband have a 10 year old daughter in the process of a divorce. He was absent for almost 3 years but then popped back in randomly. Our temporary orders hearing kept getting reset. So they put a bandaid on it. First, third, and fifth weekend of the month. Until we can get in and finally have the hearing. The last reset was the 7th and he got her that day because it was the first Friday of the month. And was to return her to school Monday. She started feeling sick that night. He messaged me at 10:35 Sunday saying he can’t take her to school she’s sick and he can’t take her to the doctor so I have to let’s meet at 7 am. So we meet. And I take her to the ER because that was all that’s open and I wanted to get her checked. They swabbed her and she had influenza A. Told me to treat at home. I had the flu not too long before that so it made sense. And I did, her fever broke the next day and by Friday all her symptoms were gone. He chewed me out for taking her to the ER and said I medically neglected her. But she got better and I took her for treatment. Things were okay. This recent Thursday he had another visitation pick up from school Thursday and keep her till Monday drop off at school. He messaged me he’s not giving her back to me Monday. He said he’s keeping her because she’s sick and said I lied and she was clearly sick that whole time. But Thursday morning I took her to school and she was okay. So he’s accusing me of neglect and said he can’t trust me because she didn’t see a real doctor because her doctors are real doctors. Our hearing is Tuesday. I’m not sure what to do. The order says his possession ends when school starts Monday morning. What’s his deal? This feels like he’s trying to set me up. Also see previous post if needing insight to how our relationship was. It was very volatile.
Talk to your lawyer tomorrow, including the threats to not return and that he has given no updated address. A good lawyer will tell his lawyer what he’s planning and his lawyer will strongly recommend he comply and go through the consequences of non-compliance. Prevention is always better than trying to cure it.
I do and I will. I’m gonna call my lawyer first thing and we have a planning appointment at 4 so I’ll be in good contact with my lawyer tomorrow.
Get a copy of the medical record from the hospital. It’s not medical neglect if you seek treatment in a reasonable amount of time. He told you she was sick Sunday night, and you took her to the ER Monday morning. No judge in the world would say that’s neglect unless her oxygen saturation was at dangerously low levels, and if that was the case, the hospital wouldn’t have released her.
@Frankie
That’s a good point. I’ll make sure to get that documentation.
It’s not medical neglect if you seek treatment in a reasonable amount of time. No judge in their right mind will say that certain doctors are medical neglect, but other doctors aren’t. If anything, delaying her medical care while she was in his custody was negligent on his part.
He will be in breach of the temporary order. Not a good look for him. Not clear why is wrong with taking her to the ER? You medically neglect her but he refused to take her to the doctor? What a mess.
I would ask the teachers to sign a note stating when she was in school on Thursday she was fine.
Pearl said:
I would ask the teachers to sign a note stating when she was in school on Thursday she was fine.
That’s a good idea.
Also, everyone has the flu, that’s absurd. Tell him directly to have your lawyer file a motion with the court that says you medically neglected your child.
If he does not comply with a court order, inform your attorney immediately, call the police with the order in hand and go to get her or have her dropped off at the police station. The reason I suggest this is: if he does not allow this while you are litigating, it is criminal interference.
@Isle
Police aren’t going to get involved in family issues. OP just needs to document any order violations and deal with it in court.
Right, I actually know that this is not what YOU want to hear, but the point is: there is an order, it’s Sunday, he’s not going to return her according to the temp. order. If you have an attorney, they can help you navigate this.
The problem is I don’t know where he’s keeping my daughter. He moved without telling me and I have no idea where she is. Another violation of the order.
Andrea said:
The problem is I don’t know where he’s keeping my daughter. He moved without telling me and I have no idea where she is. Another violation of the order.
Make sure you document all those things. Only talk to him through text messages or if you’re using a court-ordered application.
Good!!! This is so nerve-wracking! I hope it gets easier for you.
I would just call the school, present the order to them and tell them that it is now your parenting time. They are legally obligated to follow the order. If he does come pick her up, they are allowed to tell him that they cannot release the child.
How are you neglecting her medically when he is the one who refused to take her to the ER? He’s not making sense and a judge will see that especially when he refused to take her.
School started. I don’t believe it matters whether or not your daughter attended, his visitation ended and it’s now your time. The ER isn’t the right place to take someone with the flu, urgent care is better, but it’s certainly not medical neglect.