On average, our NCP typically only exercises about 1/3 of his court-ordered weekends a year, or less, and of the exercised weekends, typically only 1-2 are exercised as a full weekend. The remaining are used as, at most, a single overnight—picking the kids up in the late afternoon and dropping them back off early the next morning, but more often it’s picking them up for just 2-4 hours one day. I’ll add that he is off every Sunday, and is off work by 1:30 pm every day, and if off every few Saturdays. So there’s no reason why every NCP weekend he can’t take them from 3:30 pm-8:00 pm Friday and then from 2:00 pm Saturday-6:00 pm Sunday. He also hasn’t taken them for a single Thursday visitation in about 2 years, usually only takes them 1-2 days in June, and if he exercises any of July (he did not at all this last year), it’s to send them to his mother for a weekend. Back to the point of my post, given that he fails to exercise 2/3+ of his weekends, am I legally required to keep the children available for those entire weekends? When he does exercise time, he doesn’t let me know until the last minute, which is ridiculous. But as the kids are getting older, they want to go do things. I’ve always kept them available in case he pops up, but I’m starting to feel like why should they be punished for his inconsistency? So I guess my real question is if I don’t hear from him by the Friday night of his weekend, is that considered a forfeiture? Or is this something we need to specifically have written into our order?
I would take him back to court and modify the orders. This protects all of you. It seems like he is not exercising his rights consistently, which could work in your favor.
If he’s not showing up and not communicating, that may give you some leverage. Have you thought about documenting all the missed weekends?
salish said:
If he’s not showing up and not communicating, that may give you some leverage. Have you thought about documenting all the missed weekends?
Yes, I’ve been keeping track of everything he misses along with the late notices. It feels like it should be enough to show the court.
It sounds like he might be trying to manipulate the situation. If you don’t hear from him, you shouldn’t have to keep the kids available for him. It’s not fair to them.
I think if he doesn’t contact you by a certain time, it should be considered a forfeiture. You may want to have a clause added to your agreement about this.
Phoenix said:
I think if he doesn’t contact you by a certain time, it should be considered a forfeiture. You may want to have a clause added to your agreement about this.
That’s what I was thinking. If we could have it in writing, it would be much clearer for everyone involved.
It’s tough to navigate this stuff. Just make sure you’re keeping good records of everything. It will help if you have to go back to court.