Mother of children not complying... need advice

I’m the father of two children, ages 9 and 11. The mother is the temporary custodial parent because the kids were with her when I filed for custody. She took them and changed her phone number, so it took me almost 8 months to locate her and file. She doesn’t communicate with me directly; instead, she has the kids relay messages, which I think is causing them a lot of anxiety. During my court-ordered visits, she constantly texts or calls them. Out of ten visits, nine have been cut short due to her excuses like sports or birthday parties. While I understand sports are important, my kids also need to develop a relationship with their father. She claims I can’t have them one weekend a month due to sports. I also find it troubling that she doesn’t let my side of the family communicate with the kids. Her new husband is referred to as ‘Dad,’ while I’m called by my first name. After good visits, the kids often seem reserved and non-verbal. They also bring up that I don’t pay child support, even though I do, over $2,000 a month. Most evenings, they stay with her new husband’s mother instead of being with their mom. I feel like the kids are being isolated. What can I do to re-file for more visitation? I’ve got a legal expert’s recommendation that I’ve shared in previous mediations. The mediator seems to recognize that the mother is high conflict, but I feel stuck. Any advice on what I can file in this situation?

You really need to focus on the important stuff. Check with a lawyer about getting visits increased and better communication.

Happy said:
You really need to focus on the important stuff. Check with a lawyer about getting visits increased and better communication.

Thanks for the advice. I’m definitely looking to increase visitation.

Use a court app for communication. That way, you can document everything.

Meech said:
Use a court app for communication. That way, you can document everything.

That’s a good idea. I’ll bring it up in mediation.

You need to file for parental alienation. Ask for therapy for the kids and better communication rules.

Halston said:
You need to file for parental alienation. Ask for therapy for the kids and better communication rules.

I agree. I’ll take your advice and push for that.

Talk to your kids and find out their sports teams. You can get the schedule without relying on her.

NAVEAH said:
Talk to your kids and find out their sports teams. You can get the schedule without relying on her.

Great point. I should ask them about that.

Stop giving her the kids back early. Stick to your visitation time, and if she has an issue, let her take you to court.

Julia said:
Stop giving her the kids back early. Stick to your visitation time, and if she has an issue, let her take you to court.

Absolutely. I’ll make sure to enforce that.