My sister is going through a tough time after a nasty divorce. She shares 50/50 custody of her child with her ex, who has wealthy parents and a lot of time to make things difficult. Our grandmother in Poland is gravely ill, and she wants to take her child to say goodbye, but her ex is refusing. He has been manipulative in the past and is now forbidding her from taking their child to Poland.
She doesn’t have the money for a lawyer, and her ex suggests she issue a bond to ‘prove’ she won’t kidnap their child, even though there’s no reason to think she’d do that. Any advice on what she can do? Thanks for your help!
As an ICU nurse, I’d advise against making a child say goodbye to a dying relative. It’s more of a parent’s emotional need than something the child would benefit from.
Ali said:
As an ICU nurse, I’d advise against making a child say goodbye to a dying relative. It’s more of a parent’s emotional need than something the child would benefit from.
I’m a physician, and I disagree. Seeing a family member before they pass can be a positive experience for both the child and the elder. Every case is different though.
If they have 50/50 custody, taking the child for a month could interfere with the ex’s parenting time. Have you considered shorter trips? Taking the child out of school for a month would also be an issue. A bond sounds reasonable if she’s planning to return.
@Bliss
She’s been thinking about it, but a week isn’t enough time with travel. The bond feels like he’s trying to control her, but maybe it’s an option.
It sounds like your sister’s ex is trying to manipulate her. He’s making it harder than it needs to be. Maybe the court could allow travel if she presents it properly.
Cary said:
It sounds like your sister’s ex is trying to manipulate her. He’s making it harder than it needs to be. Maybe the court could allow travel if she presents it properly.
That’s what we’re worried about, but lawyers are too expensive for her right now.
Raegan said:
It’s normal for a parent to worry about international travel. But if the ex is offering a week, it might be a compromise your sister can live with.
A week just isn’t enough given the travel time, but maybe it’s better than nothing.
The bond idea isn’t unreasonable if it guarantees the ex that she will return. It’s better than him refusing entirely. Maybe she could negotiate for a longer trip?
Eden said:
The bond idea isn’t unreasonable if it guarantees the ex that she will return. It’s better than him refusing entirely. Maybe she could negotiate for a longer trip?
It feels like he’s using the bond as a control tactic, but maybe it’s the best she can get. We’ll consider it.