My kids’ dad has had CAS restrictions since 2021 saying that if he’s in a caregiver role, he must be fully supervised at all times.
I stopped allowing visits in December 2024 when I found out that his ‘supervisor’ (his girlfriend at the time) wasn’t actually watching him like she was supposed to.
My final custody order says that access is at my discretion.
Now, their dad and his girlfriend called CAS on me, claiming that I let him see the kids without a supervisor, which has led to an investigation against me for child endangerment.
CAS spoke to my kids, and they did not say they were ever alone with their dad.
I showed CAS messages proving that I only allowed visits when I believed there was proper supervision.
I also showed them that since December, no one has confirmed they’re supervising him, so I have not allowed access.
I feel like I’m stuck. I still have my kids, and the CAS worker told me she probably won’t need to meet with us again. She said to keep doing what I’m doing and to continue denying access.
Now I’m confused… their dad is going to tell CAS he hasn’t had a supervisor, but isn’t that just proving he hasn’t been following his own restrictions? He signed an agreement in 2021 saying he knew the rules.
Is this just going to backfire on him? What is he even trying to do here? I don’t understand.
So let me get this straight… he basically snitched on HIMSELF for breaking the CAS rules, thinking it would somehow get YOU in trouble? That’s next-level dumb. He’s the one who agreed to these conditions, and you actually stopped visits when you realized they weren’t being followed. He really didn’t think this through, did he?
@Fenn
Exactly! He signed the agreement in 2021, not me. CAS told me about his restrictions, and I followed their advice by not allowing unsupervised visits.
So if he’s now admitting he hasn’t been following the rules, isn’t that just proving he’s the problem? I don’t get what he’s trying to accomplish here… this seems like it’s just going to make things worse for him.
I went through something similar in Ontario. My CAS worker told me it was completely reasonable to only allow supervised visits at an official access center. My ex refused to use the center, so he lost access while under investigation. CAS told me that was his problem, not mine.
I highly recommend looking into a supervised access center. That way, the responsibility is on him to set it up, and you don’t have to manage anything.
@Dakota
I even showed CAS messages from his own sister, where she admitted she supervised him for years and was shocked that he’s trying to pull this now.
Aki said: @Dakota
I even showed CAS messages from his own sister, where she admitted she supervised him for years and was shocked that he’s trying to pull this now.
Just keep everything documented and stay in contact with CAS. If you haven’t already, start keeping a binder with all the evidence—messages, reports, anything relevant. That way, if this keeps going, you have proof that you’ve been doing the right thing.
@Dakota
I told the worker I’m not comfortable allowing any visits right now because I’m concerned about his mental state after these false accusations. I asked for a reassessment before anything changes.
The worker just kept repeating that I have the right to deny access, and I should keep enforcing that until I feel comfortable. She even said that even if he’s reassessed, I can still require supervision.
I’m worried that it’s going to be a ‘he said, she said’ situation. Do CAS workers expect that? She also mentioned he could end up with stricter restrictions, but I don’t know what that means.
@Aki
Have you talked to your lawyer about this? When I was in this situation, my lawyer told me I was legally required to withhold access because CAS had concerns. My lawyer told me that showing I was prioritizing my kids’ safety was the most important thing.
If you haven’t already, I’d double-check with your lawyer to make sure you’re handling this the best way possible.
@Dakota
Yes, I talked to my lawyer. He told me to deny access and follow my court order. He also said that even if CAS suggests a supervised access center, I should say I’m using my right to deny access until things change or he takes me to court.
My lawyer also reminded me that even if CAS removes his restrictions, they can’t force me to give him the kids because he has no court-ordered parenting time. He told me to stand my ground.
He also said CAS might actually enforce his restrictions more now since he admitted he hasn’t been following them for the past four years.
@Aki
It kind of sounds like it. But unless CAS explicitly tells you to keep the kids away, offering a supervised access center shows you’re being reasonable and putting their safety first.
Sounds like he’s just mad that you won’t let him see the kids and thinks calling CAS on you will somehow get him what he wants. But he’s too stupid to realize he just admitted to breaking the rules himself.
@Vine
Exactly! He’s mad that I won’t let his girlfriend supervise. I think this is just a way to try and get CAS to force me to allow her as the supervisor, but I don’t think it’s going to work.