So, I’ve got a 5-year-old daughter, but her mom’s recently decided to cut me off completely—no visits, nothing. Here’s the kicker: I’m not even on the birth certificate because she wouldn’t let me be on it back then. There’s no legal custody arrangement, just verbal agreements between us. I know establishing paternity is the first step, but after that, what else can I do? Anyone been through this?
Man, that’s tough. Yeah, establishing paternity is definitely step one. Once you do that, you could petition the court for visitation or custody rights. Are you in NC?
Nova said:
Man, that’s tough. Yeah, establishing paternity is definitely step one. Once you do that, you could petition the court for visitation or custody rights. Are you in NC?
Yeah, I’m in North Carolina. Do you know how long it takes to get that done? And what’s the process like?
@Maxwell
I think it depends on the county, but first, you’ll need to file a petition to establish paternity. After that, they might order a DNA test. Once that’s confirmed, you can move forward with custody or visitation hearings.
@Maxwell
In NC, the court usually prioritizes the child’s best interest, so make sure you have any proof of your involvement in her life—photos, texts, receipts, etc.
What do you mean by ‘establishing paternity’? Like, do you need a DNA test, or is it just paperwork?
Taj said:
What do you mean by ‘establishing paternity’? Like, do you need a DNA test, or is it just paperwork?
Yeah, it usually means a DNA test to prove you’re the father. Once that’s confirmed, you can be added to the birth certificate and file for custody or visitation.
Taj said:
What do you mean by ‘establishing paternity’? Like, do you need a DNA test, or is it just paperwork?
Thanks for explaining. I was wondering if I could skip the DNA part since her mom already knows I’m her dad.
@Maxwell
I don’t think you can skip it if the court requires it. It’s more for legal confirmation than anything else.
@Maxwell
Yeah, courts won’t take verbal agreements as proof. A DNA test is usually mandatory.
If you’ve been involved in her life for 5 years, that should count for something. Do you have any proof of your involvement, like school drop-offs or birthday party pics?
SERENITY said:
If you’ve been involved in her life for 5 years, that should count for something. Do you have any proof of your involvement, like school drop-offs or birthday party pics?
Yeah, I’ve got tons of photos and texts showing I’ve been there for her. Do courts even care about that stuff?
@Maxwell
Absolutely. It shows a pattern of involvement and could help your case when you’re asking for custody or visitation.
@Maxwell
Make sure you organize everything. Courts love evidence that’s clear and easy to understand.
If the mom doesn’t cooperate, can the court force her to let you see your daughter?
Rohan said:
If the mom doesn’t cooperate, can the court force her to let you see your daughter?
Once paternity is established and you have a court order, she’ll have to comply. If she doesn’t, she could get in trouble for violating it.
@Nova
Got it. So, first step is paternity, then custody or visitation order, right?
@Nova
Yeah, seems like it. It’s just frustrating that I even have to go through all this when I’ve always been there for her.
Do you think the mom might fight you in court? Like, try to block your visitation?
Amber said:
Do you think the mom might fight you in court? Like, try to block your visitation?
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised. She’s been super unpredictable lately. What happens if she does?