I’m navigating a difficult custody battle in Florida and could really use some insight or support from anyone with similar experiences. My ex, who’s my son’s father, is trying to get 50/50 custody and has even threatened to push for more. To give some background, I take full accountability for getting involved with him and not recognizing his true nature until it was too late. I was on birth control when I unexpectedly got pregnant, and he and his family pressured me to have an abortion. When I decided to continue the pregnancy, things got much worse. He had severe anger issues—his parents and extended family admitted they’d seen this since he was a child. During my pregnancy, I was constantly emotionally and verbally abused. He would scream over trivial things, punch or kick objects around the house, and make me feel unsafe. After giving birth, I went straight to my parents’ home when I was discharged from the hospital because I couldn’t take it anymore. When my son was 5 months old, I suffered one of the worst incidents: while I was distracted looking for my car keys (which he had thrown in the trash after spitting in my face), he tackled me, leaving me with a mild concussion, an acute cervical strain, and horrible bruising. My son was in the car when this happened. After that, I cut off all contact, and he was out of our lives until he served me with a paternity case when my son was 16 months old. He hasn’t paid any child support or cared about our son’s wellbeing but suddenly claims to care deeply about his role as a father. What makes this situation even more concerning is that he’s a medical marijuana patient and drinks heavily every night. He swears he wouldn’t smoke around our child, but I have serious doubts. Additionally, he’s hearing impaired. I’m NOT being ableist, but I’m genuinely worried that he wouldn’t be able to hear our son at night in case of emergencies. I do have a lawyer, but she seems overwhelmed and doesn’t offer the level of support I need. Two of my close friends have faced similar situations, and despite the fathers being abusive, the judges still granted 50/50 custody. This terrifies me. If anyone has advice on how to handle these concerns in court, or if you’ve been through something similar in Florida, I’d really appreciate your thoughts. Thank you for reading.
Talk to your lawyer about demanding drug and alcohol testing before any supervised visits. Document everything and be ready to fight for your child. Any hospital records of your injuries and how he hasn’t been in your son’s life so far. Read - Why Does He Do That PDF Free download by Lundy Bancroft.
@Faye
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
Hi OP, sorry to hear you are going through this. You may consider cross posting at r/domesticviolence if you feel comfortable. They have a lot of region-specific guidance and resource lists for this type of situation. Wishing you the best.
@hazela
Thank you so much, I’ve been exhausted I didn’t even think of that.