I’m a 32-year-old father in British Columbia, Canada, and have been separated from my ex-wife for 3 years. We have a 9-year-old daughter with no legal parenting plan. Dealing with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be incredibly challenging. Her behavior often feels controlling and abusive, affecting both my daughter and me deeply. The details are intricate as BPD behaviors are often subtle and hard to detect.
I need guidance on finding a lawyer who understands these complexities. I want someone who can advocate for my daughter’s safety and well-being, highlighting the challenges posed by my ex-wife’s behavior.
My husband’s ex was diagnosed with BPD and had issues with alcohol abuse. Coparenting was impossible, and it was a complex and often abusive situation for my stepchildren. Even after they chose to stop visiting her, the effects lingered into their college years. They’re in counseling to maintain healthy boundaries and manage the fallout from disrupted attachments. I recommend finding a counselor for your daughter to prevent her from repeating these patterns and to help her cope with any attachment issues she may have.
You don’t co-parent with a BPD ex; at best, you parallel parent. It’s crucial to educate yourself on BPD to understand what your daughter and you are dealing with.
You need a lawyer to help you through this. Establish a formal parenting plan and discuss your concerns with your lawyer so they can inform you about your options. This is not something you should handle alone, especially when it comes to protecting your daughter.
Lake said:
Who currently has custody of the child?
There’s no legal parenting plan; we share custody, but she has taken control as the decision-maker. A couple of years ago, she tried to deceive me into signing over full custody by presenting the papers as divorce documents.
