Struggling with child support and extracurricular costs... any advice?

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice. I’m paying $500 monthly in child support and have my kid three times a week after work and every second weekend. Despite all this, I’m not considered the primary caregiver, so I’m paying the max amount for my income.

On top of that, my ex keeps signing our kid up for expensive extracurriculars without asking me. We split those costs 50/50, but it’s killing me financially. She also books these out-of-province trips for competitions, staying in 5-star hotels, and I’m expected to cover 40% of the cost. I recently had to sell my truck just to afford one trip to Phoenix in 2025, and now she’s booked another one I can’t even afford to attend.

I’m left with almost nothing after child support, bills, and these extras—like literally paycheck to paycheck. She’s financially secure because her fiancé pays for everything, but I’m struggling just to provide basics. Does it make sense to see a lawyer about this? Or is there no point since I’m the dad and not the primary caregiver? Would love to hear any thoughts.

Man, that sounds rough. Have you thought about asking the court to reassess your child support payments? If your expenses have gone up but your income hasn’t, they might consider reducing it.

Barbara said:
Man, that sounds rough. Have you thought about asking the court to reassess your child support payments? If your expenses have gone up but your income hasn’t, they might consider reducing it.

Yeah, I’ve thought about it, but I’m worried it won’t go anywhere since I’m not the primary caregiver. Does that even matter?

Barbara said:
Man, that sounds rough. Have you thought about asking the court to reassess your child support payments? If your expenses have gone up but your income hasn’t, they might consider reducing it.

It might not matter as much as you think. Courts look at your financial situation too. A lawyer could explain it better though.

You’re splitting the extracurriculars 50/50, but are they really necessary? Maybe you could push back on some of those costs.

Samantha said:
You’re splitting the extracurriculars 50/50, but are they really necessary? Maybe you could push back on some of those costs.

I’ve tried. She says everything is ‘for the betterment of our child’ and doesn’t take no for an answer.

Samantha said:
You’re splitting the extracurriculars 50/50, but are they really necessary? Maybe you could push back on some of those costs.

That’s tough. Maybe a court would agree some of these costs are unreasonable, especially the luxury trips.

Wait, you’re paying 40% for her 5-star trips? That seems wild. Can’t she cover more since she’s financially stable?

Miller said:
Wait, you’re paying 40% for her 5-star trips? That seems wild. Can’t she cover more since she’s financially stable?

I wish. Her fiancé’s money doesn’t count in these things, so it’s all on me and her.

Miller said:
Wait, you’re paying 40% for her 5-star trips? That seems wild. Can’t she cover more since she’s financially stable?

That’s messed up. Definitely worth consulting a lawyer to see if you can get that adjusted.

Have you thought about putting together all your expenses and showing her how much you’re struggling? Maybe she’ll ease up a bit.

Ann said:
Have you thought about putting together all your expenses and showing her how much you’re struggling? Maybe she’ll ease up a bit.

I’ve done that. Showed her everything, but she doesn’t care. She just says it’s ‘for the child.’

Ann said:
Have you thought about putting together all your expenses and showing her how much you’re struggling? Maybe she’ll ease up a bit.

That sucks. Might be time to let the courts decide if she’s being unreasonable.

IDK if this helps, but inflation and stagnant wages are good reasons to ask for a review. You’re not alone in this struggle.

Terry said:
IDK if this helps, but inflation and stagnant wages are good reasons to ask for a review. You’re not alone in this struggle.

Thanks for saying that. I feel like I’m drowning sometimes. Do you think courts really care about inflation?

Terry said:
IDK if this helps, but inflation and stagnant wages are good reasons to ask for a review. You’re not alone in this struggle.

Totally. They’ll look at your overall financial situation, so it’s worth bringing up.