About a year ago, my ex filed for custody, and we now have a status quo order. Our last hearing was in October, where we agreed to a few things in front of the judge. My lawyer told me this meant we can’t easily change our minds. We agreed on:
Joint legal custody
50/50 parenting time
Mutual right of first refusal for childcare
Child support based on my ex’s 2023 W-2 income (she’s been unemployed for a while)
There were some other minor things, but we were pretty much set.
My lawyer drafted the parenting plan that day, and I signed it. But my ex hasn’t signed it yet. She hasn’t been clear on what exactly she doesn’t like, but one issue she raised is about the right of first refusal. She thought it meant I couldn’t have sleepovers during my time with our child, but my lawyer’s wording allows for that.
Now, things haven’t moved forward. I recently saw a notice saying the court will dismiss the case in a month if nothing happens.
Here are my main questions:
Can she just run out the clock and let the case get dismissed? I’m thinking my lawyer can prevent that, but will it cost a lot and take time? Will we need to go to court again?
What happens if she refuses to sign something we already agreed to?
If the case gets dismissed, does everything we agreed to still count, or do we have to start over?
I’ll be talking to my lawyer soon, but I’d like to get some basic advice before then. Thanks!
It sounds like you were filing a joint agreement, but now your ex isn’t on board, so she won’t sign it. You might need to refile it as a contested parenting plan and get a new court date. Talk to your lawyer about it.
If you did a colloquy with the judge, where you both agreed to the settlement on record, you might not need her signature at all. Your lawyer can get approval for the judgment from her attorney or just file it if they didn’t object ahead of time. You should ask your lawyer for more details.
If the agreement was read into the record, your lawyer can get the transcript and use it in the Final Order. It sounds like she may have a lawyer too, who could agree with your lawyer’s version. If her delays cause extra costs, they might be charged to her.
In my state, the right of first refusal means that if one parent can’t be with the child, they must offer the time to the other parent first. If it’s going to be an overnight, the parent has to tell the other parent. I’ve never had an issue with this, as it’s just about making sure the child gets to be with family or do normal activities. Sounds like your ex has a different idea, though. Be careful with how the agreement is worded so it doesn’t stop the child from having a good time with family or friends.
@Violet
Yes, I checked with my lawyer before agreeing to the ROFR. I didn’t want it to interfere with normal activities like sleepovers, but I agreed because the wording should make it a rare issue. But it seems my ex misunderstood and now wants sleepovers to be blocked during my time.
@Genevieve
It sounds like there’s a misunderstanding. If I were you, I’d want to block a sleepover only for a legitimate reason, not just to be difficult. Am I right that you can decide on sleepovers and she has no say?
@Genevieve
Some people don’t think sleepovers are normal or healthy. If this is the main issue, I’d probably let her have that win to avoid more conflict.
Your case won’t be dismissed. The things agreed to in court are binding. I’d suggest asking your lawyer to order the transcript and have the judge sign it as ‘So Ordered’. This way, it will be treated like a court order. If your ex still objects, the court can step in.
Vanessa said:
There’s no reason for the case to be dismissed. You should talk to your lawyer about your options.
I confirmed with the court that if nothing happens by the deadline, they’ll dismiss the case. I know my lawyer will make sure that doesn’t happen, but I want to know what will happen if it comes to that. I’ll definitely talk to my lawyer, but I just want to be as prepared as possible before I call. I don’t want to waste time or money.
@Genevieve
One side has to take action to move things along, or the case will be dismissed. You can ask for a hearing to finalize the orders or set a trial date. The court won’t let cases just sit there without action from either party.
@Genevieve
Yes, if no action is taken, the case will be dismissed. That’s why you need to do something before the deadline. Someone mentioned getting the judge to sign the record to finalize it without needing her signature.