What Happens to 50/50 Custody If the Father Wants to Move Out of State?

Custody and Visitation Forum
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What Happens to 50/50 Custody if the Father Wants to Move Out of State?

This is my first time posting here. My ex and I have been discussing our child’s education plan. He is on an IEP, and typically would be starting school next fall. He’s autistic and non-verbal, and I had to strongly advocate for him to get tested. Both of us are remarried and have recently had new additions to our families. His wife is from another state, and his family is spread out across the country, while my family lives close by. Last night, my husband and I were unexpectedly confronted by my ex and his wife about their desire to move closer to her family. This move seems to benefit them personally and professionally. They mentioned the school they’re considering has a strong special education program, but every school offers support for IEP students. They’re calling it a “good faith” move, but it would mean taking my son away from his siblings, grandparents, great-grandparents, and extended family. We share 50/50 custody, and while I want what’s best for my son, I don’t believe moving him away from his long-time family support network to be with his stepmom’s family, who have only known him for a year would be beneficial. They even tried to offer no child support as a bribe and promised that once my son reaches a certain grade, he would come back to live with us to finish his schooling. I’m concerned that uprooting him would disrupt his consistency. Our divorce agreement includes the custody arrangement. Can he even proceed with this move? I’m preparing for a potential custody battle.

Edit: Thanks to everyone for your advice and support. I’ve consulted with a lawyer and am prepared for court if necessary. Your input has really helped me feel more confident about the situation.

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No, you should not agree to this move. Disrupting a child on the spectrum can be extremely harmful and could set him back significantly. Additionally, this move would shift custody from 50/50 to giving him primary custody, reducing you to a “summer” parent, which is not healthy for your son.

If you refuse, your ex will need to petition the court and prove that both the move and the change in custody will be overwhelmingly beneficial for your son.

I strongly recommend hiring a lawyer (as he will likely have one). Here are a few things that work against your ex:

  • Judges generally dislike uprooting children, especially those with special needs.
  • They are hesitant to alter educational plans (such as IEPs) that are currently effective.
  • They prefer not to modify custody arrangements without a compelling reason, particularly if it means reducing one parent’s time without evidence of abuse or neglect.
  • They are also reluctant to move children away from their established support systems without a solid justification.
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Definitely not. If he wants to move, that’s his choice, but make it clear that the child will remain where they are. Such a significant change would be detrimental to the child and clearly benefits only Dad and his new wife. You should consider filing for custody as soon as possible.

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Yooh ‘’ folks ,best advice,
relocation laws can differ from state to state, so the procedures and factors that courts consider may vary based on where you live. If you’re dealing with a situation where one parent wants to move out of state, it’s a good idea to talk to an attorney to understand your rights and options.