I need some advice on getting my ex-fiance’s things back after we ended an emotionally abusive relationship. I’ve packed everything up and labeled it, then left it in the driveway for him to pick up. His parents said they would get it, but it’s been dragged out for days. Now they left some items behind that could’ve easily fit in their car. It feels like an intimidation tactic. He threatened to harm himself when I ended things, and I had to call 911 for a wellness check. I’m trying to avoid further drama but also want to make sure everything is handled legally. Anyone have any advice on how to handle this? I don’t want him to show up at my door or make it harder for me to move on. Any legal steps I should be taking?
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. First off, if they try to show up, you don’t have to let them inside. You’re totally within your rights to keep it as simple as possible. Could you mail the remaining stuff? Or just leave it outside for them to pick up?
@Alex
Yeah, I agree with DEF. You don’t owe them access inside. Honestly, it sounds like you’re doing everything right. If they push, just stay firm and tell them it’s outside. No need to engage more than that.
I’d say change the locks, if you haven’t already. You don’t need to worry about them coming in uninvited, especially if things feel off.
Faithjones said:
I’d say change the locks, if you haven’t already. You don’t need to worry about them coming in uninvited, especially if things feel off.
I did change the locks. I’m just trying to figure out how to handle the situation if they push even harder.
If they come by again and try to get inside, just tell them it’s not happening. Be firm, you don’t owe them anything. I wouldn’t even let them in to get the rest of the stuff unless they’re really polite about it.
Also, if things start feeling unsafe, it might not hurt to call your local police non-emergency number just to let them know what’s going on. I wouldn’t call them every time, but they can note the situation.
@Yan
That’s a good point. I was considering calling for extra patrols. I think I’ll do that just to be safe.
It’s also not a bad idea to have your ex sign something stating that he picked up everything if you can do it without direct contact. It’s not required but might help in the future.
Faith said:
It’s also not a bad idea to have your ex sign something stating that he picked up everything if you can do it without direct contact. It’s not required but might help in the future.
I thought about that, but I’m trying to avoid any contact with him, honestly. I don’t want to deal with any more drama.