My son has been living with his dad to work on his behavior. At first, the plan was for him to stay about an hour and a half away from me, but then his dad had a death in the family and wanted to take him to Georgia to ‘try things out’ with improving his behavior. I agreed.
It’s been 8 months now, and nothing has really changed. I told his dad I want him to come back home, but he says he’ll only let him ‘visit’ me.
His dad is on child support. I was willing to drop the case, but because of missed appointments, it’s been dragging on, and now his license is at risk.
Since my son moved, I signed guardianship papers so his dad could enroll him in school. But I never intended to give up my rights or let this be permanent.
I don’t know what my next step should be. Should I drop child support if I want my son back? What are my options here?
So it sounds like the issue isn’t really custody but more about lack of communication?
A lot of judges are making parents use apps like OurFamilyWizard to keep track of co-parenting communication. You can’t force him without a court order, but maybe he’d agree if it makes things easier.
Zoey said:
This is a mess. You basically handed over custody. Have you even seen your son in these 8 months?
Yes, he just went back to Georgia recently. The guardianship paper was just so he could go to school. His dad isn’t even on the birth certificate, but he did establish paternity—that’s where the child support came from.
@Chelsea
No, if he established paternity, he is legally the father in every state. It sounds like you don’t fully understand how family court works. You really need to talk to a lawyer.
Yasmine said: @Chelsea
No, if he established paternity, he is legally the father in every state. It sounds like you don’t fully understand how family court works. You really need to talk to a lawyer.
You need to call child support ASAP and let them know your son hasn’t been living with you for 8 months. They might adjust the child support situation.
Also, do you have any legal custody agreement in place? A court order is needed to change custody legally, so that ‘guardianship’ paper might not hold up.
Do you actually want your son back? If so, why now?
The tricky part is that Georgia is now considered your son’s ‘home state’ since he’s lived there for over 6 months. His dad is the default custodial parent now. If you want him back, or at least a set custody arrangement, you’ll probably need to take legal action—likely in Georgia. You need to talk to a lawyer.
Edit: If you’ve been getting benefits (TANF, Medicaid, SNAP) while claiming to have custody, you could also be looking at a fraud issue. Child support agencies report that stuff.
@Ming
Yes, I want him back. I let him go because I thought it would help him, but it hasn’t. If anything, he’s worse.
At one point, his dad even asked if I wanted him back, and I said yes, but I was dealing with my own health issues at the time. Now, I barely get updates about my own child. His dad’s girlfriend and sister do most of the talking, not him. I feel completely shut out. My son doesn’t want to be there, either.
I thought having his dad in his life would help, but his dad doesn’t actually discipline him—it’s the women in the house that do. The whole thing is just a mess.
The problem now is that by letting him live in Georgia for this long, you’ve set a pattern. Courts don’t like to move kids once they’re settled in school and a routine. If you push for child support now, and the dad fights for custody, he could end up with full custody, and you’d be paying child support instead.
How old is your son? How often have you seen him since he’s been with his dad?