I have a temp DVRO against a former boyfriend who has been stalking me ever since we split. I have the court case coming up in March. He’s violated the temp DVRO twice and lied to the police department in the police report. He showed up to two locations I was at and did not immediately leave when he saw me; he hung around to intimidate me but left right before police showed up. When they confronted him, he made a false statement to PD and they took his word for it. PD stated in the report that they saw no evidence of a violation. PD also got the date wrong on the report, which matters. I have the temp order against my ex, but the police told me something very bizarre: ‘this restraining order goes both ways, you can get in trouble too.’ I told them, ‘no, that’s wrong, there has not been a DVRO filed against me, only a DVRO against him.’ But they insisted. What do I do when his police report statement is a lie and PD won’t enforce it?
DVROs are nothing but a piece of paper and they do nothing to enforce them. I reported my ex for violating it and his probation at least 6-7 times and he had zero consequences.
Tell the judge your experience with these dirty pigs.
First thing; a DVRO does not go both ways. You are correct. The officer (who clearly shouldn’t even be an officer) is wrong. Keep the police report. It should have the time and date from when you called on it. Bring it to court with you. If he does this again, take a picture or video of him. Don’t confront him. Use this as evidence. Make sure you are firm when you go back to court. Stand your ground and make sure the judge sees how serious you are about your current DVRO.
@Victoria
The PD got the date wrong on the report; is it worth going to the station and making them fix it? It’s apparent they did not care about me at all.
FamilyLawFred said:
@Victoria
The PD got the date wrong on the report; is it worth going to the station and making them fix it? It’s apparent they did not care about me at all.
100% worth. Show them your call logs.
Thank you! My ex is a big shot in the community so the cops showed him preferential treatment, and were therefore skeptical of my complaint. He does not look like an abuser or stalker, but he is.
FamilyLawFred said:
Thank you! My ex is a big shot in the community so the cops showed him preferential treatment, and were therefore skeptical of my complaint. He does not look like an abuser or stalker, but he is.
They never do. It’s why abusers are so liked within their communities. They rarely show their abusive side to anyone other than the person they are abusing. Do you have a full stay away order against him?
@Victoria
Yes. He’s not allowed to get within 30 feet of me. He got within a few feet of me and the police still did nothing.
Wonderful service they provided. I would definitely make sure to capture something on your phone next time since it seems like he definitely won’t stop. If the police in your area have body cameras, request the footage too.
Absolutely whip out your phone and start video taping him as he approaches you.
Montana said:
Absolutely whip out your phone and start video taping him as he approaches you.
Thanks! When I see him, I go into a freeze response so I need to remind myself in the future to take video.