I (29F) am divorcing my (28M) ex, and we have a pre-trial hearing coming up soon. We don’t share assets, but we have one child (3F). I’ve been her primary caregiver since we separated almost two years ago, and I also cover her health insurance and childcare expenses. My ex currently sends about $500/month but claims his income has decreased, and he’s now offering only $200-$300/month. He’s also not interested in custody beyond seeing her a few weeks a year (one week during winter break and a couple of weeks in the summer).
I’m conflicted. I want what’s fair for my daughter, but part of me just wants to move on without dragging this out. My lawyer thinks I can get more in child support, but since he’s not a US citizen and works in his home country (where tax records aren’t closely tracked), it’s hard to prove his actual income. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Should I accept the $300/month and move on or push for more? Also, what should I expect from the pre-trial hearing?
If it were me, I would probably accept the lower child support amount. Given that he’s in another country, it could be difficult to collect, and at least you know he’s offering something. But make sure to negotiate that he has to travel to see your daughter; don’t allow her to leave the country with him. You could also keep the child support amount open for modification later.
@Charlotte
That’s a good point. I’ve been worried about letting her travel with him. Keeping the child support open for modification sounds like a good idea, especially since my income will increase soon.
Pre-trial hearings are mostly procedural. They’re used to check if there’s a chance of settling before trial and to set timelines. If your ex is difficult to negotiate with, it’s good to be prepared with all your evidence of his current contributions and any financial records you can find. It sounds like you’re ready to move forward, which is great, but just be patient. Legal processes can drag on, but they eventually get resolved.
@MaryJane
Thanks for the advice. I really hope we can settle and avoid a drawn-out process. I just want to keep things as peaceful as possible for my daughter.
It sounds like you’re ready to move on and prioritize peace over the financial back-and-forth. You know your ex better than anyone—if you think $300/month is the most realistic option, it might be better to avoid dragging it out for something he can always contest later. Plus, if your job prospects are improving, the financial struggle won’t last forever.